Severus Snape and the Whomping Willow Incident
by Norbertha
Summary: Keywords: Young Snape, bullying, domestic violence, first love, the werewolf episode, joining the Death EatersSummary: This is the story of Severus Snape's sixth year at Hogwarts. What I have tried to do, is to fill in the gap between Snape's Worst Memory


**Severus Snape and the Whomping Willow Incident **

It was the Monday morning on the first day of term after the holidays, and Severus Snape was making his way across the Entrance Hall towards the Great Hall for breakfast. Yesterday's journey on the Hogwarts Express hadn't been too bad at all, although it was always a bit dull now after Lucius had left school. He had gotten on really early, before hardly anyone else was there, and found a compartment at the very back of the train, where he had sat down, pretending to be asleep when the hordes of students entered the train. That way he didn't have to answer if anyone spoke to him, and he was left alone in his compartment apart from two fourth-years, who fortunately had the sense to leave him alone.

As the journey went on, he had been able to read a fair few chapters of a very interesting book called "Magical Self Defence – 101 Threatening Situations and How to Get Out of Them Alive". Earlier in the summer he had been a bit worried about his Defence Against the Dark Arts OWL result. Defence was by far his favourite subject, and he would easily have achieved and 'O' in it, he thought- However, certain events beyond his control had made it quite difficult to concentrate during his practical Defence OWL, and he had been afraid this would have ruined the whole thing. He was therefore very relieved at the end of July when his marks arrived: At least he had managed an overall 'E'. He was a little bitter about this, surely he'd have managed an 'O' if the practical exam hadn't gone so badly, but still, an 'E' was at least sufficient to get him into the NEWT level Defence class.

Severus was actually looking forward to this year in a way, with the prospect of NEWT level Defence and everything. "Hopefully the ones who choose to do NEWT level classes won't be as slow as the people I have had to endure so far", he thought to himself as he walked the last few steps towards the door into the Great Hall. Severus often found the slow progress that his class was making with the curriculum very annoying. He was always at least a hundred pages ahead and impatient to get on with things. Hopefully NEWT classes would move a little faster.

Severus opened the doors into the Great Hall. Although it was still rather early, he was sorry to find it quite full of students already. At the teachers' table, however, was only Professor Kettleburn, half way through wolfing down a bowl of porridge. Severus took a quick left turn, intending to try to reach the Slytherin table without being noticed by too many people by walking along the wall at the bottom end of the house tables. But it was already too late.

"Oi, Snivellus!" a familiar voice called out behind him. "Are you wearing trousers underneath your robes today, or is your family so old fashioned that they won't let you?"

Several people laughed at this, and he could feel the laughter sting his neck like a thousand little arrows. Determined not to turn around, he carried on towards the Slytherin table, letting his hair fall in front of his face like a curtain to hide its red colour. He did in fact normally wear trousers under his robes. It was just that it had been very, very warm that day back in June, when they had had their Defence Against the Darks Arts examinations. Only when it was too late, he had learned that there was something called "shorts". "Shorts" were a type of Muggle clothing that had never been worn in Severus' home, and he had in fact never even heard of it before the word had been thrown at him by Sirius. Evidently, he was supposed to wear these "shorts" underneath his robes on days when it was too hot for trousers. He had decided that from now on, he would rather endure the heat.

"Have you washed your knickers yet, Snivellus?" Sirius tried when Severus didn't respond. Knickers, Severus thought. At least it had been boxers, not knickers! He had hoped that the school would have forgotten about this embarrassing incident over the summer, but no, of course they hadn't. And those who had would have Sirius and James to remind them of it.

"You know, I could get a House Elf to come here to wash them for you right away, do you want me to take them off for you again?" James laughed.

This was too much for Severus. He wheeled around and snatched his wand out of his pocket, and within a second he had hit James squarely on the chest with a Reductor Curse that burnt a hole through his robes.

"Argh!" James shouted. But before Severus had the chance to do anything else, both Sirius and Peter Pettigrew threw themselves at him, and pinned him up against the wall. Sirius pointed his wand towards Severus' forehead.

"Try that again, and you're dead, Snivelly!"

"Dead, am I?"

"Yeah! Just wait!"

"No, no, don't kill him just yet, Sirius" came James' voice as he slowly walked up to them. "We aren't through having fun with him yet. How about ... a Hair Greasing Jinx? Oh no, I forgot, his hair is so greasy already that you wouldn't see the difference. Or... how about the Bat Bogey Hex?"

James raised his wand, but before he could do anything, there was a cry of "expelliarmus" behind him, and Severus felt his wand fly from his fingers and into Professor Kettleburn's hand along with the three other wands.

"No fighting, boys!" he said in a fatherly manner. "You may collect these from the staff room before class. Now, please go and pick up your timetables from the table over there."

He indicated an extra table that stood in front of the staff table, which was full of stacks of parchment, before leaving the room.

James was clearly angry about being deprived of his Bat Bogey Hex, because as soon as the professor had left, he punched his fist into Severus' stomach.

"That's for telling the teacher".

"I haven't told anyone", Severus tried to say, however this was rather difficult as James was hitting him on the same spot again and again, Sirius and Peter still pressing him against the wall, until he lost his breath.

At the moment when he started to see little, black stars dancing in front him, James suddenly stopped, and all three walked quickly out the door. Severus leant against the wall. Now he noticed what felt like a hundred pairs of eyes all giving him quizzical looks, as if they were waiting for some kind of speech from him.

"What are you looking at!" he shot at them, before he strode out of the circle and sat down at the Slytherin table.

The first class of the year turned out to be Apparition. So after having gotten his wand back, Severus found himself in Hogsmeade Community Centre, where he had been taken by Madam Hooch along with the rest of the class.

Unfortunately, this class was to be taken with the Gryffindors. He saw James and Sirius at the very front of the class, clearly eager to get started.

Severus took a place at the very back, as Madam Hooch said: "Now, Apparition. As you may remember from your first year, flying is rather difficult to start with ..."

Too true, thought Severus, remembering the complete fool he had made of himself at his first flying class, and hoping that this class wouldn't turn out to be as big a disaster.

"... but, just as it is with flying, Apparating is no trouble at all once you get the hang of it. But you need to concentrate. A Ministry official from the Apparition Test Centre will be coming up in June to test you, and if you pass, you will get your licence."

Madam Hooch continued to lecture them on all the potentially dangerous situations that could occur if you didn't do the Apparition correctly, to much whispering and giggling from the class. Severus felt annoyed at how immature most people of his age were.

"There's no wand waving involved in the art of Apparition, and no incantation, just pure concentration. Now, what you need to do is relax every muscle of your body, and focus on the very atoms that you're made of. Empty your minds, now – you will have plenty chance to catch up on the holiday news at the break time" Madam Hooch said, and Severus snorted inwardly – the last thing he wanted to do during break time was ask his classmates how their holidays had been, and he doubted anyone would feel the need to ask him, either.

"It might actually be easier if you lie down on the floor", Madam Hooch continued, "Just until you've gotten the hang of it. Once you're fully skilled, of course, you'll be able to Disapparate and Apparate without these lengthy preparations, but until then..."

The class reluctantly lay down on the floor.

"Now, empty your minds."

Severus found this difficult at first, but after a minute or so, he actually managed it by concentrating very hard on imagining a certain shade of dark blue, and nothing else.

"Then, feel all your muscles relax."

Severus did this as well, trying not to wonder how many students would have fallen asleep by the end of the class.

"Now", said Madam Hooch, "imagine that your body, your whole body, is going pale. It's going paler and paler, until it's nearly see-through. Then, concentrate hard on the place you want to go, which we will make just where you are laying, to start with. Feel yourselves dissolving. Feel each and every atom of your body detach, and send them to the place where you want to go."

As Madam Hooch stopped talking, it went very quiet, as everyone was concentrating hard to dissolve their bodies. After several minutes hard work, nobody had made any progress. Severus concentrated so hard that he lost all sense of time and place.

Suddenly, he felt a very weird sensation. He felt blurred. And then he flickered. He definitely flickered! He had to hold back a cry of joy, as he opened his eyes excitedly, heart beating fast.

But at that very moment, somebody else actually did cry out, but this was a cry of horror. It was James. Or rather, it was James' upper half. At once, everybody stopped concentrating, and sat up to see what was going on.

"Aaaaargh!" was all James could manage to say, as he looked down on the place where his legs normally were.

The noise level in the room was rising fast, and everybody was moving closer to get a good view.

"Quiet! Quiet!" Madam Hooch said. "James, we need to establish where the other half of your body has gone, so that we can get the Accidental Magic Reversal Squad to retrieve it, and send it back here. What place were you thinking about?"

James muttered something inaudible.

"Say that again, please?" said Madam Hooch.

"The Shrieking Shack" muttered James, a little louder this time.

"The Shrieking Shack? Why were you thinking about The Shrieking Shack?" asked Madam Hooch, clearly puzzled.

"Not sure," said James, looking down and blushing.

Severus was wondering about this, too. Why on earth would James be thinking about the Shrieking Shack?

"Well," said Madam Hooch, "now you've seen what can happen if you don't concentrate properly. Excuse me, I'lljust go through to the other room and use the fire. Don't go anywhere in the meantime, and don't try to Apparate again while I'm away. OK?"

As soon as Madam Hooch was out of the door, about ten people tried to ask James what he was thinking about the Shrieking Shack for, all at once. But James refused to say.

_In the Gryffindor common room that night, a whispered conversation took place between James, Sirius and Remus Lupin – with little Peter tagging on, trying his best to be included. _

_"This was ... not very fortunate, James", said Remus. "You shouldn't have let the others hear you mention the Shack, I'll bet you anything that someone is going to poke around there now, as soon as they get the chance." _

_"What was I supposed to do, then? Live the rest of my life as a torso?" _

_"No, but... you could have asked Madam Hooch to speak to you in private, or something." _

_"Yeah", said Sirius. "That was a bit stupid, mate. But we'll just have to keep our eyes peeled from now on. Don't worry, Remus. If I see anyone sneaking around the Shrieking Shack, I'll deal with them so thoroughly that they'll keep silent about it for the rest of their lives!"_

**Chapter Two.**

When the time came for the first Hogsmeade weekend of the year, Severus headed directly for the Shrieking Shack. After the Apparition fiasco, poor James' upper half had had to be levitated back to the school by Madam Hooch, while the Accidental Magic Reversal Squad went up to the Shrieking Shack and retrieved his detached legs. Apparently it had taken quite a while for them to find somebody that would volunteer to enter the building, as they were all afraid to be attacked by the violent spirits rumoured to live there. But in the end, they had managed to retrieve James' legs, and take them up to the hospital wing, where they were firmly attached to the rest of James' body again.

Although this story had caused general amusement around the school for a few days, most people had forgotten about it by now. But not Severus. He still smirked about it every time he saw James, to James' great annoyance. This also had the benefit that it had somewhat taken the edge off James' all-too-frequent attacks on him, although Severus feared this blessing wouldn't last.

Therefore, he was determined to find out what this Shrieking Shack business was. Were his arch-enemies up to something dodgy? Severus had never been up close to the Shack before, but now that he was standing just outside it, he could see that it would be rather difficult to find out anything, because the doors and windows were all blocked up. Which was all very funny, since the house was only five or six years old, as far as Severus knew. The house sounded empty. The violent spirits, or whatever they were, were clearly out somewhere enjoying themselves.

Careful not to be seen, Severus tried the door. As he had thought, it was locked. He then climbed up on a tree root, and tried to look through the window. There was a tiny gap between two of the boards that were nailed to it, and through it Severus could see a dark room and the dark outline of a few pieces of furniture.

Deciding that this would not lead anywhere, Severus jumped down. When his feet landed in the mud, he noticed the ground he was standing on. And it was all covered in animal footprints. Most of them looked like a dog's – or was it two dogs, one a bit larger than the other? And there were also some marks from cloven hooves. And all seemed to lead from the Shack and down the slope, or else up the slope and into the Shack.

Thoroughly puzzled, Severus tried to follow the footprints, but lost track of them when the ground changed from mud to heather further down the slope.

Making a mental note to come back later on, Severus went back down to Hogsmeade, where he promptly bumped into Regulus Black.

Regulus was a third year, and a little suck-up at times, but somehow a lot more likeable than his older brother Sirius. Plus, he was in Slytherin. "Hi, Severus!" he said, "I've been looking all over for you! Just thought you might like to know that Lucius is in town. He's sitting in the Hog's Head Inn."

Amused at the fact that Regulus had run all around Hogsmeade to tell him this, Severus started heading in the direction of the Inn, Regulus at his heels.

The streets of the village were packed with students, and Severus felt stared at. Every time he had to pass a knot of students, he could feel their eyes on him.

It didn't help, either, that Regulus kept chattering non stop. Severus was walkin as fast as he could, and little Regulus was jogging along beside him, going more and more out of breath as he was trying to tell Severus some rediculous story about Lucius coming up to Hogsmeade to recruit members for some political party.

After a short while, he burst in through the door of the dark inn. He spotted Lucius right away, although Lucius did not notice him - he was far too busy snogging Narcissa Black.

There was an incredibly large number of Balcks in this school, Severus thought. There was Narcissa, her sister Andromeda, stupid, little Regulus and his snot-rag of a brother, Sirius, and until recently there had been their cousin Bellatrix as well.

Relising that Lucius probably didn't want to speak to him just now, Severus started to withdraw towards the door. But Regulus, apparently hoping for praise or something from the older boy, went straight upto the pair, and started to speak to them.

"Hi, Lucius! Hi, Narcissa! Guess who I ran into? Severus! Maybe you could tell him about that ... that... that thing, you know."

Severus tried not to laugh - he was guessing that Regulus himself was very keen to hear about this political party, or whatever it was, but that Lucius couldn't be bothered to speak to him, so he needed Severus to get Lucius to tell him, so that Regulus could listen in. Narcissa gave her cousin a scorching look.

"Buzz off, Reg," she said. But Regulus clearly wasn't intending to leave, so eventually, Lucius gave up the thought of resuming his snogging, and asked Severus to sit down.

Lucius had apparently been very busy lately: He had been carrying out dangerous business. He took on a kind of secretive manner as he said this - maybe to appear even more interesting and intimidating to Regulus. But Severus knew what Lucius was speaking about: After Lucius had left school, he had become a trusted companion of the man who termed himself the Dark Lord.

Regulus shivered exitedly as Lucius told his stories. Even Severus had to admit it was fascinating.

"There is no time for being cowardly or foolish around the Dark Lord", Lucius said. "He accepts only the strongest and the cleverest. There are few that are accepted into his inner circle."

At this, Regulus gave an exited, little gasp.

"Are you in his inner circle yet?" Severus asked Lucius.

"Nearly, yes", said Lucius. "He's considering me. And," he added, "I wouldn't be surprised if he'd consider you too, in a couple of years."

Severus noticed how Narcissa was looking very admiringly at Lucius.

"He might", Severus said.

_Later that night, on his way down to the Slytherin common room, Regulus Black was stopped by his older brother. _

_"I saw you in Hogsmeade today with Snape", he said accusingly. "You're not friends with him, are you?" _

_"Me? I... No, I just..." _

_"Well," said Sirius, "I know you're both in Slytherin and everything, but even in Slytherin some people are worse than others, if you know what I mean. What were you doing with him, anyway?" _

_"Nothing, I just saw him coming down the hill from the Shrieking Shack, and I just ..." _

_"From the Shrieking Shack?" _

_"Yeah, but I don't know ... I mean, I don't really know him, I mean, I'm not friends with him or anything, I just..." _

_"You just chose to spend your weekend with him anyway? I see, I see. Well, I can't say I understand your taste, little bro, but this friendship of yours might come in useful after all..."_

**Chapter three: Florence**

A slight drawback, in Severus' opinion, about taking NEWT classes, was that since a fair amount of students had left school after achieving their OWLs, those who were still there had to take most of their classes with students from other houses.

Defence lessons, for example, the Slytherins had with the Ravenclaws. This week Professor Merryman, who didn't suit his name at all, was showing them a small book bound in black leather, with white writing on the cover.

"This," he said in a grave tone, "is a Black Book. I have donated it to Hogwarts library myself – it used to belong to my great grandfather up in the Orkney Islands. This is not truly a black book anymore, of course, because the Hex that was once on it has been broken. By myself", he added proudly.

"Now, Mr. Snape, can you tell me why Black Books are illegal?"

Severus knew this perfectly well. He often spent break times in the library, especially now that he was allowed into the restricted section. The library was also the perfect hiding place if you wanted some peace.

"Black Books are illegal for two reasons", Severus answered. "Firstly, Black Books contain collections of Dark curses. All the three Unforgivable Curses were first described in a Black Book. Secondly, Black Books come with a hex. The effect of the hex is that you can never get rid of the book once you own it, unless you sell it for more than you bought it for. People have tried to get rid of Black Books in various ways: One wizard tried to throw it over board deep at sea. But when he came back home, the book was still lying on the kitchen table. A Muggle that owned one, tried to give it to a Bishop to bury in the garden of his Manse, only to find it back in his sitting room the next morning."

"That is entirely true. Ten points to Slytherin, Mr. Snape."

As Severus had been speaking, he had noticed how one of the girls had been looking at him. But the thing was, she wasn't looking at him in a nasty way. No, she was looking at him with a soft smile on her face.

Severus didn't know her particularly well. She was in Ravenclaw, and her name was Florence.

The lunch hour came, and Severus was walking down the stairs, wondering what that faint smile from Florence had been about. He decided that it would probably be better not to ask her too directly about it – after all, he barely knew her.

Intending to stop by the toilet before lunch, he went across to the far side of the Entrance Hall, where a group of Gryffindors were spilling out of a corridor.

Suddenly he noticed that he was surrounded. James was standing in front of him, blocking his way ahead, while Sirius and Peter were behind him, blocking any escape route in that direction. He also saw Remus hovering in the distance.

"Ah, it's Snivellus!" said James. "Washed your knickers yet?"

All three laughed, but fact was, his underwear would soon be needing washed if they didn't let him go to the toilet. This was all very inconvenient.

"I seriously doubt it," Sirius replied. "He hasn't washed his hair, so why should he have washed his knickers?"

Severus had washed his hair, it was just that it went greasy again within hours no matter what he washed it in.

"Hee, hee, we surely got his mouth washed, at least," Peter sniggered.

Severus really needed to get out of this situation. He slowly started to edge his left hand towards the pocket where his hand was.

"Do you really have time for this, Potter?" he said, trying to distract him. "I thought you would be too busy snogging with that mudblood girlfriend of yours, Lily Evans?"

Lily was not at all James' girlfriend, and James was truly frustrated about this, as Severus fully well knew. He nearly had his hand in his pocket now, and James was looking furious.

But just as he was about to pull his wand out, Sirius jumped at him from behind.

"So you think I'm blind, eh, Snivellus? You think you can fool me, eh?"

And with the combined force of the three of them, Sirius, James and Peter managed to push a struggling Severus into a nearby broom cupboard, and close the door. And as he sat up, Severus heard the sound of something large being placed in front of it. The sound of many pairs of feet told him that the rest of the school was heading for the Great Hall, and apparently no-one had seen what had just happened to him, or else, more likely, no-one cared.

The situation was now getting desperate. He tried Alohomora, but of course it had no effect at all on the huge thing that was blocking the door. All he could do was wait, and hope for someone to find him.

So Severus waited, all the while trying to forget that he was nearly bursting. Calling far help was out of the question. Slowly the corridor went quiet.

After what felt like most of the lunch hour, Severus heard a single pair of feet outside. The situation was now so urgent that Severus decided to make himself known to whoever it was outside. He said a semi-quiet "Hello?"

"Hello?" replied a girl's voice, and then, "Oh my gosh, are you still in there?"

So she had seen it happen. And what was more, Severus now recognised the voice, and dearly wished he had kept silent – it was Florence.

The next thing he heard, was Florence saying "locomotor statue", and then the door opened.

"Oh, Severus," Florence said, "I didn't know you were still in there! I saw Potter and Black attack you, but I never thought they would leave you in here for the entire lunch hour! I have seen them pick on you from time to time, but I never realised they would go as far as this! Do they often do this kind of thing to you?"

Florence seemed far more upset about this than Severus felt himself.

"Er, yeah, sort of..." he admitted awkwardly.

Severus was far more embarrassed about Florence finding him here, than Potter, Black and Pettigrew shutting him in here in the first place. Plus, he was about to burst still, and Florence didn't look like she would stop speaking for a while yet.

Deeply embarrassed to admit this, Severus said to Florence: "Look, Florence, thanks for getting me out of here, but I really need to the toilet, so do you mind if I don't hang around to chat just now?"

"Er, no, sure," Florence said.

"Well, then," said Severus, "I'll maybe speak to you later or something."

He quickly averted his eyes and headed off.

Instead of coming to class that afternoon, Severus shut himself in his dormitory, turned the lights off, drew his blanket over his head and put on The Draculas on max volume.

Little Regulus had now started avoiding his brother. Every time he saw him, Sirius would demand a report on what Severus Snape had been doing, and in particular if he had been trying to sneak out to Hogsmeade and the Shrieking Shack again.

"I don't know", Regulus said, "I don't know!"

"Then find out," his brother told him firmly.

Later on in the evening, Severus was sitting a a table in the corner of the Slytherin common room behind several stacks of books, trying to concentrate on his homework.

But instead of writing the essay on Multiple Vanishing that they had been given by Professor MacGonagall, he had found himself brooding on how to get him own back on Black and Potter.

If they could only do something really, really bad – something that would get them expelled!

But then again, he didn't really want to be in the receiving end of this terrible act that would get them expelled, either.

Or would it maybe be worth it? He had endured so much now, over the last five years that he could surely take it – come what may.

Severus was just starting to wonder how he could secretly trick or provoke James and Sirius into hurting him seriously – perhaps he could make them push him off the Astronomy Tower? They were always nicking his possessions and dropping them down there during class anyway, so why not his whole being? – when he suddenly heard what a group of fifth-years were speaking about at the neighbouring table.

They were speaking about Rubeus Hagrid, that ridiculously tall man who was working as Game Keeper.

Severus had heard these rumours about him before, but never really paid much attention to them, but now something suddenly clicked in his mind: He wouldn't have to sacrifice himself at all; he could get his tormentors expelled for an entirely different reason.

A grin appeared on Severus' face. According to the rumours, Rubeus Hagrid had been expelled in his third year for illegally breeding or else just setting loose a giant monster inside the school, with the result that one student had been killed. The older students liked to scare the first-years with this story, but Severus had never believed it to be true. But hadn't he seen animal footprints in the mud outside the Shrieking Shack? And hadn't he heard James speaking about the Shrieking Shack too? Maybe – maybe – what if this dream-team, these overlords of arrogance, Black, Potter, Lupin and Pettigrew, were secretly breeding some kind of animal species up in the Shrieking Shack? Or else, they could be doing experiments on animals, trying out experimental or illegal spells on them, perhaps. And all the while using the Shack as their hide-out.

But this would surely mean that they would need to have some means of getting there outside Hogsmeade weekends as well. Were they perhaps sneaking out after dark? Severus knew this would be very risky. But he also knew that this gang liked to take risks, so he wouldn't put it past them.

If he could only get them caught at this red-handed, they would be expelled for sure, and it wouldn't have anything to do woth him at all.

Very pleased with his master plan, Severus looked up, and saw Regulus Black enter the common room.

"Regulus! Come here," he said, and beckoned him towards him.

_Little Regulus was lying awake in his bed that night, worrying about the tricky situation he was in. He felt like some kind of bizarre double agent. Not only was he supposed to report to Sirius on what Severus was up to, and whether he was trying to nose around in their business again, but now he was also supposed to spy on the Marauders for Severus. And he couldn't decide who to obey or disobey, he felt equally intimidated by both. _

**Chapter Four: The birthday party.**

It was now the 15th December, a Saturday, the last weekend before the Christmas holidays, and a Hogsmeade weekend. And just to top it all, it was Severus' birthday, and Lucius had sent him an owl to say that he was coming up to Hogsmeade again. They would be meeting in the Hog's Head Inn this time as well. Lucius had praised their Firewhisky, and Severus was keen to try some, now that he was 17 and finally allowed to.

He was walking down the path past the Quidditch pitch when somebody called his name behind him. Expecting nothing but badness, he pretended not to have heard.

But the person called again, and it was a girl, and she ran up to him and said "hi". It was Florence.

A tingling sensation was now spreading in Severus' stomach.

"Are you going down to Hogsmeade?" she said, and Severus was tempted to reply "obviously", but he didn't want to be rude to her, so he restricted himself to a simple "yes".

"Where in Hogsmeade is it you're going?"

"The Hog's Head."

"Why are you going there and not to the Three Broomsticks?"

"It's less crowded, and I'm also meeting up with Lucius Malfoy and perhaps a few others to try the Firewhisky there."

After having said this, he was forced to admit: "It's my birthday, see."

Wondering how Florence would take this piece of news, and all the while being very concious about the fact that last time Florence had spoken to him, he had been locked up in a cupboard, Severus looked at Florence's face. She was smiling again, a warm, bright smile. She had long, brown hair and brown eyes, and her cheeks were rosy with the cold air.

"Is it really? Well, happy birthday, then! Are you having a party in the Hog's Head?"

Severus wasn't sure whether Lucius had meant it to be a party or not, so he said "Sort of".

Then he heard how quiet it suddenly went after he'd said this. Maybe Florence was expecting him to thank her for rescuing him out of the cupboard?

But then, that would mean speaking about the whole cupboard affair, something that he wasn't particularly keen to do. Still, he should perhaps say something nice to her.

Making up his mind quickly, he said: "Would you like to come?"

For some reason Florence was looking quite embarrassed by this question, but she said "yes, please". So the rest of the way down to Hogsmeade Florence and Severus walked side by side, a decent distance apart.

Unfortunately, Florence started firing personal questions at him.

"Lucius Malfoy, is he your friend, then?"

"Yes."

"But he left school last year, I mean a year and a half ago, didn't he?"

"That's right."

"So it must be really lonely for you now, then? I mean, I hardly ever see you with anyone. You always seem to be on your own."

So she had been watching him, Severus thought, annoyed. Yes, it was true that he spent most of his time alone, but he actually preferred it that way, since he had nothing whatsoever in common with most people of his age. He generally found his peers extremely immature, or shallow, or both, nad he simply couldn't understand how they could be so deeply interested in things like robe fashins or broomstick makes – or each other.

"Are you lonely?" Florence pressed on.

"No."

"Are you sure?"

Oh, why did girls always have this urge to play the counsellor?

"Yes, I'm fine, thank you."

"But Black and Potter and Pettigrew –"

Oh, here it came, of course, she had to mention it at some point.

" – It's horrible what they do to you. Just horrible! Have you told Dumbledore what's going on?"

"No."

"Why not? You should. You shouldn't let them get off with this!"

"I am quite capable of defending myself, you know," Severus said, but he didn't think it sounded as convincing as he had hoped.

"Oh, I don't doubt that, but they are three people, and you are just one, it's not fair at all! How long has this been going on for?"

"A while."

"Yes, but how long?"

"Five and a half years, if you must know."

"Five and a half- ever since first year, you mean? Oh, Severus! You should tell Dumbledore, you should definitely tell Dumbledore, he'd sort them out for you."

"I don't need anyone to sort anyone out for me, thank you," growled Severus, intensely regretting now that he'd asked Florence to come to the Hog's Head with him.

"But what do your parents say to all this? Why haven't they contacted Dumbledore?"

"Listen, Florence. I'm sorry, but if you are going to speak about this all day, I'm afraid I am going to have to ask you to leave. You see, I am intending to enjoy myself on my birthday, and this isn't a particularly enjoyable subject for me."

Florence blushed red as brick, and quickly said "I'm sorry – I didn't mean to – I just thought – I'm sorry."

They walked the rest of the way to the inn without saying a word.

When they entered the dark room, Severus immediately saw that there was no Lucius there. But he'd surely be there soon, he thought, and went up to the bar, where the funny barman with the long beard was busy pretending to be reading the Daily Prophet. Severus tell he was pretending because of the deliberate and exaggerated way he was moving his eyes, and his whole head back and forth with them.

Severus cleared his throat quietly, and the barman looked up.

"You're the one they were looking for!" he said abruptly. "Black, greasy, shoulder-length hair, pale skin and a large, hooked nose. Yes, you're the one indeed! There's a message here for you."

Severus felt like punching the barman on the nose for this description of him, but instead he picked up the note that he was handed. It read: "Severus, We went to the Three Broomstick after all. Hope to see you there. Lucius."

Severus sighed, and turned to Florence. "The others have changed their minds and gone to the Three Broomsticks after all."

"All right", she said, before they turned around and left for the other inn.

The Three Broomsticks was crowded as usual, and, also as usual, Severus felt as if on display as he was making his way across to the corner table where Lucius was sitting with Narcissa Black, Amadeus Nott and Patrick Parkinson.

"Hello, Severus!" Lucius said happily, "And happy birthday!"

"Yes, happy birthday," said Narcissa, and the other two also quickly added "Yes, happy birthday," "Yes, happy birthday, Severus."

Lucius shifted his chair to make room for Severus between him and Patrick. Then he spotted Florence, who was standing a few paces away, looking uncertain.

"Er, is this lady with you, Severus?"

Severus wasn't sure what to say, so he looked around at Florence, who said "Er, no, er, well, yes – we just met on the way here, and Severus said he was going to the pub, so... I'm in his Defence class, see. I'm Florence, by the way."

Severus was very grateful that Florence hadn't made it sound as if they were together in any way, and neither had she burst out with anything about that stupid cupboard. Maybe she had some sense after all.

Lucius now acted like a gentleman, and drew up an extra chair for Florence, and soon Madam Rosmerta came over.

"And what will it be here?" she asked, looking at Lucius, as the oldest one there.

"Four Firewhiskys and one Butterbeer, please," Lucius ordered without even asking the others.

Then he seemed to remember about Florence, and asked her politely: "And what would you take, Florence?"

"A Butterbeer as well, please," Florence said.

"So that will be four Firewhiskys and two Butterbeers, please, Rosmerta," said Lucius, and when she came back with the drinks, he paid for them all without so much as looking at the change.

Severus looked down at his glass of Firewhisky. The liquid in it was dark brown and amber-like, and it seemed to shimmer with an inner glow. It was smoking like a freshly brewed potion, and the smell from the smoke was piercing his nostrils.

"Cheers, Severus!" Lucius said, and lifted his glass.

"Cheers," Severus said, grinning, as he lifted up his glass too, and all the boys drank a gulp of the smoking liquid, while Florence and Narcissa sipped some of their Butterbeer.

A burning sensation immediately spread in Severus' throat, and he could feel it going like a warm wave through his body. He could also feels his cheeks glowing uncharacteristically pink, but he enjoyed it.

Suddenly it didn't matter any more that the pub was packed full of students. He was here with good friends to enjoy himself, and that was all that mattered.

As the afternoon wore on, and evening came, Severus enjoyed himself more and more. In a way, he liked being seen in public with a group of friends for a change, a group of friends that were all buying him drinks and cheering him.

And there was Florence too, she was sitting next him, and she didn't look like she was wanting to get away from there in a hurry, either. Neither had she asked any more embarrassing questions, and Severus found that she was actually quite interesting to talk to. It turned out that Defence was her favourite subject too, followed by Potions, and she was just telling him about her trip to Albania last summer, where she had seen another one of those Black Books in the library of an ancient castle, when a friend of hers came over to their table.

The pub was almost empty now, and Severus suddenly realised how late it must be, for Florence's friend – a rather short and mousy-haired girl – was saying: "Are you coming back up to the castle with me, Florence? Filch'll be getting angry if we don't go back soon."

"OK, Bertha," Florence said, and got up, but she was looking a bit disappointed too.

When Florence had left, Severus looked round at Lucius to see if they were going to leave as well. But Lucius said: "We're not leaving yet, are we?"

"But Filch..." Amadeus Nott began.

"Ach, Filch, that old clown. Let him get angry if he wants."

This was easy for Lucius to say, of course, since he had left school, and could do what he liked.

"But I've got Quidditch practice tomorrow morning as well," Amadeus persisted. "I should really go."

"Yes, so have I," Patrick backed him up.

"Go if you like, I'm not stopping you, but the night is still young, you know," Lucius drawled in a manner that clearly told everybody that Lucius enjoyed being considered a grown-up.

As Amadeus and Patrick left, Lucius ordered another round for himself, Narcissa and Severus.

"Let the cry babies go to bed early, we are here to enjoy ourselves. Cheers, birthday boy!" he laughed. "And cheers, my love," he added to Narcissa, before he went on: "So, who's she, then?"

"You mean Florence?" Severus said suspiciously.

"Yes, Florence."

"She's in my Defence class."

"Do you like her?"

"Depends on what you mean by 'like her'".

"You know what I mean."

"She's nice enough."

"Good looking too, eh?" Lucius teased him.

"I suppose."

"She's not in Slytherin, is she?"

"No, she's in Ravenclaw."

"Well, that's not the worst house to be from. She could be worth checking out."

"Mm," Severus said, wondering whether Lucius were right, and if yes, how this could be done.

It was very late by the time Severus was walking back to the castle. The grounds were dark and wet, and he was feeling slightly dizzy and tired, but very happy.

Narcissa and Lucius had stopped by the winged boar gate for a goodnight cuddle, so Severus had left tham to it, and was now approaching the massive front doors, hoping not to bump into Flich or any other person, ghost, cat or poltergeist.

He carefully opened one of the doors, and slipped inside. As soon as he was in, he heard footsteps. As swiftly and silently as he could manage, he jumped in behind a statue.

A single pair of feet was walking across the dark Entrance Hall, clearly not trying too hard to avoid being heard. So it must be one of the staff, Severus thought.

But it wasn't. As the figure came nearer, he saw that it was Remus Lupin. Lupin was walking rather fast, directly towards the front doors, and out.

"This is strange", Severus thought. If he were up to something dodgy, he would surely make a bigger effort not to be seen or heard by any of the teachers?

Severus was just about to follow Lupin outside to find out what he was up to, when he heard more footsteps. But this time it sounded like mote than one person, maybe two or three.

"This will be the rest of their little gang", he thought, as he watched from behind the statue. He could still not see anyone, but he heard the footsteps coming nearer all the time.

It sounded like the people were just feet away from him now, and he squinted to try and see them through the darkness, but he couldn't make them out at all. Was it just the dark, or was he drunk? Severus tried to think how much he had had to drink – Was it just the two glasses of Firewhisky? No, it must have been three at least, maybe four.

The sound of footsteps seemed to pass him now, and then he heard the front doors open and close again. A strange thought hit him: What if these people – Potter, Black and Pettigrew, no doubt – had some means of making themselves invisible?

Exited, he jumped up from behind the statue, intending to follow them. But as he got up, his head started spinning, so that he almost fell, and he had to grab the head of the statue to support himself. "Watch out there," it said sleepily.

When he had steadied himself, he carefully walked over to the front doors. There he stopped to listen for a moment, before he peered outside.

It was completely silent, and nobody was in sight. It was raining – an icy December rain that would hopefully turn into snow soon. The moon was just about to come up behind the dark hills, and it cast an eerie glow over the scene.

Where on earth had they gone? If it had only been snowing instead of raining, he could at least have followed their footprints.

While Severus was still thinking about this, Narcissa Black suddenly appeared around the corner, and he jumped at the sight of her.

"Oh, it's you," he whispered.

"Did you think it was Filch?" she smirked.

"No...er, yes," Severus said, preferring to keep to himself what he had just seen – or not seen.

"Better be really quiet now," she said. "Come on." And without speaking another word, they tiptoed back to the Slytherin common room.

On Sunday morning, Regulus Black was on his way up the stairs from the dungeons, when he was held back by Severus Snape.

"Have you done what I asked you?" Severus hissed.

Regulus shuddered. He didn't have anything to tell Snape about his brother and his friends, he had no clue what they were up to.

"I need more time," he whispered. "Just give me 'til after the holidays."

"All right. I expect a good report from you when we come back, then."

And with that, they parted.

**Chapter Five: Christmas**

The time was half past twelve p.m. on Christmas Day, and Severus was sitting in his bed amongst his newly opened presents. Downstairs he heard his mum busy preparing dinner for her family and for uncle Baltazar and auntie Pricilla, who were coming over. His dad was in the kitchen too, busy looking over his wife's shoulder, telling her how not to do the cooking.

"Don't make the sauce too thick, now," he heard him saying. "My brother doesn't like thick sauce."

Severus tried to block them out and concentrate on the book that he was reading instead. It was a Hogwarts library book – he had got a special permission from Madam Pince to take it home over the holidays, pretending that he needed it for a Defence Against the Dark Arts project. The book was called "The Ancient Art of Invisibility" and explained every known way of making a person or artefact invisible.

Another good thing about being seventeen, was that he was now finally allowed to do magic over the holidays. He had initially borrowed the book to see if he could figure out in what way Potter, Black and Pettigrew might be making themselves invisible. But he had soon forgotten about that, and found himself focusing instead on how to make himself invisible to spy on them.

He had found a charm in there called the Disillusionment Charm that he wanted to try and practise. It had the benefit of not requiring any illegal or expensive ingredients, like the Invisibility Potion he had read about did, nor did it sound very advanced. He felt certain that he would easily manage it with a few hours of practise. The only drawback was that it wouldn't make him truly invisible, it would just make his body mimic the background. But it would hopefully do.

He propped the book up against the headboard of his bed, and the got his wand out. The book said to tap himself on the head with his wand, and he was just about to try that, when the doorbell rang with a cling-clang-clung.

Suddenly remembering that he was supposed to dress up for the Christmas dinner, he hurried through to the bathroom, where he quickly washed his face and put on some of "Mr. Rosey's Anti-Perspiration Potion for Wizards" under his arms. Then he combed his hair and performed the Shaving Spell that Madam Pomfrey had taught all the boys in fifth year. He then rushed through to his room, where he put on his best robes, which were black with dark blue linings.

As he did this, he heard his father making loud conversation downstairs:

"Merry Christmas, Baltazar, Pricilla! How nice to see you! Lucie and I have been so looking forward to this. And Severus too. Where is he, Lucie? Severus! Come down here!"

Severus ran down the stairs.

"Why aren't you down here when the guests arrive? Say hello to your aunt and uncle now."

"Merry Christmas, Uncle Baltazar. Merry Christmas, Aunt Pricilla," Severus muttered, and stared at the floor as he was being kissed on the cheek by auntie Pricilla.

"Oh, he has fairly grown up since last time I saw him," Pricilla squeaked, and uncle Baltazar also measured him with his eyes, before he turned to his brother again, and asked:

"Is he doing well at school, Brutus?"

"Not bad, not bad. He's inherited his father's sharp mind, I dare say. Ha, ha, ha."

Severus was feeling very annoyed at being spoken about in third person, as if he was seven years old, and not seventeen.

"But please come through. The dinner is waiting for us in the dining room. After you, Pricilla."

Even though Severus' parents weren't particularly well off, Brutus Snape still spoke as if he was living in a mansion. The house was an old two storey stone house with high ceilings and bay windows, sitting on its own on a little rise. It could perhaps have been posher if it had been better kept, but as it was, it gave an impression of crumbling glory.

The family did not own a house elf, so it was Lucie Snape that was now serving turkey with thick gravy and bread stuffing. Severus could see his father narrowing his eyes as his wife was pouring gravy onto his plate, and he felt his stomach clench. He knew there was going to be trouble later.

"What were you serving that thick gravy for! I told you my brother doesn't like thick gravy! You're a complete disgrace! A disaster! An embarrassment for me!"

Brutus Snape's temper was flashing like a thunderstorm as soon as the guests were out of the house. Lucie Snape had taken refuge to the kitchen, where she was sitting on a chair, her head buried in her arms on the kitchen table, crying.

Severus was lurking in the doorway, unsure what to do. He wanted to protect his mother, to defend her from what he knew was coming next. But on the other hand, he knew how dangerous it would be to get in his father's way when he was angry.

"How dare you make a fool of your husband and son by showing such incompetence!"

Oh no, please don't get me involved, Severus prayed. Sensing danger, he started to withdraw slowly, hoping that his father wouldn't notice him. But he did.

"Boy! Where do you think you are going!"

"Eh, nowhere, father."

"Come here. Stand there. There. Yes. Now, why weren't you down here when the guests arrived?"

"I... I was getting changed, father."

"And why hadn't you changed already?"

"I was doing school work."

"Doing school work, indeed! Didn't I tell you to get changed and be ready before one o'clock? Didn't I?"

"Yes, you did."

"So why didn't you do it?"

"I... don't know."

"No. You never listen to your father, do you!"

And with that, he smacked Severus on the cheek. It hurt as if it were on fire, but Severus didn't move a single muscle.

"Brutus, please... It wasn't his fault, Brutus... Please..." he heard his mother crying. Severus wished she wouldn't. He knew her pleading would only infuriate his father even further.

"He's got to learn to respect his father!"

"But he did get changed, and he did come down."

"Don't you dare to contradict me! You're a fool! You are even more useless than a house elf! Never, ever contradict me again!"

Severus now had to watch his father lift his mother up by the shoulders, shaking her violently.

"Never, ever contradict me again, do you hear me? Do you hear me!"

He threw her hard on the floor.

"Do you hear me!"

He kicked her in the side.

This was too much for Severus to watch. He could feel himself getting in a rage that almost matcher his father's.

"Lay off her!" he bellowed, and with all his might, he pulled his father away from his mum, and went in between them. He could hear his mother crying and gasping on the floor behind him.

"Get out of the way, boy!" his father shouted.

"No! I won't let you hurt her!"

"Get out of the way now!"

"No!"

"I'm warning you! Get out of the way!"

"No!"

Brutus hit Severus hard on the cheek again.

"This will teach you!"

He hit him again. Severus then felt himself being lifted up, just as his mother had been, and thrown hard against the wall, where he sank down to the floor. When he looked up, he saw his father towering over him, silhouetted against the white ceiling. He saw his father's hand descending on him like a bird of prey before it struck him. Severus could hear the sound of bells ringing in his ears. And as his father struck him again and again, he drifted off to another place and another time.

There was a ruin of a small chapel on the shore, about half a mile from Severus' home. When he was little, he had often played there. The grass was high inside it, and growing in between the stones of the old walls were lichen and foxgloves.

This old chapel was Severus' secret place. He had used to go down there on his own, just slip out of the house quietly when his father was in a bad mood.

And at the times when he hadn't been able to escape, he would dream that he was there, playing in the friendly shadows of his chapel. Then he wouldn't hear his father raging at him, and never did he feel his hands hitting him. He was in a different world.

Sometimes the chapel was his castle, and he was the great wizard Merlin himself. The snails that lived there were his pupils, always begging him to teach them the secret of his greatness. As Merlin he could turn into any animal, and go to any place. He was in every corner of the world, creating wonders, fighting dragons. He could cast any spell, and all the world obeyed him. Home in his castle, he gathered grass, foxgloves and seaweed and brewed the most wonderful potions, potions that would cure any disease, potions that would make him immortal and invincible. The castle was his realm, the shore his own, happy kingdom.

There was a loud bang. Severus' heart jumped. Breathing fast, he opened his eyes, and looked around. The kitchen was gone, and so were his father and mother. Instead of their yelling and crying, he heard seagulls. And instead of the stone floor of the kitchen, he was sitting in high, damp, yellow grass. He was in the old chapel. He saw clouds drifting above him where the roof was missing, and he could smell the salty dampness of the sea.

How on earth had he ended up here? The last thing he remembered, was that he had been drifting into a day dream as his father was beating him. But this was no day dream, it was definitely real.

Then it dawned on him: He must have Apparated here without meaning to! Yes, that was the only thing that made sense. Now that he thought about it, he realised that what he did when he went into a day dream, was actually very much like what Madam Hooch had taught them to do in their Apparition classes. And he had been thinking about the chapel, mentally transporting himself there.

For a second or two, Severus was really pleased with himself – he had never Apparated such a long distance before, his previous record was two inches across the floor.

But then, with a shudder down his back, he realised how much trouble he would be in when he got home. Apparating without a licence was of course illegal, even if he hadn't meant to do it. And his father was angry already. Maybe he could just Apparate to Hogsmeade, now that he had broken the law anyway, and spend the remainder of his holidays there? That would give his father some time to cool off, at least. But then again, all his books and things were still in the house, he would have to get hold of them somehow. So perhaps the most sensible thing to do would be to run home as fast as he could, and admit what he had done, since his father was bound to find out in any case.

But then again, he was of age now, after all, and he didn't want to go and confess and be punished like some little child either. He had had enough of that. From now on, he would stand up against his father. He would never let him treat him like a child again.

Having made up his mind, Severus got up, and went out of the little ruin. As he emerged onto the shore, he saw two young Muggle boys there, busy feeding turkey bones to the seagulls at the waterfront. Both of them looked round at him suspiciously, and one of them said: "What are you dressed up all funny for?"

"What's happened to your face?" the other one shouted.

"I think he's been in a fight," the first one suggested.

Severus now noticed that his nose was bleeding, and that his left cheek was very sore.

"Hey! Have you been fighting?" the second boy called out, and when Severus didn't respond, he concluded "Weirdo."

As Severus walked away from the shore and up the hill towards his house, both boys were shouting "Weirdo! Weirdo!" after him.

Severus turned the knob of the front door, and found his father waiting immediately inside it, while his mother was hiding in the background.

"There you are!" he said. "Where have you been! An officer from the Magical Law Enforcement Patrol has been here, he just left a minute ago, and he informed us that you have Apparated without a licence. So! Explain yourself, boy!"

Severus drew a deep breath, then said: "I won't deny that I Apparated without a licence. However, I didn't mean to. And I will not accept you calling me 'boy'. As you know, I am of age now, and I expect to be treated like an adult."

Severus could see the rage glowing red behind his father's eyes, and he would have been afraid that his father would get his wand out and do him serious damage, hadn't it been for the fact that he knew his father was nearly a Squib, which was why he preferred using his fists rather than his wand.

"So you expect to be treated like an adult, do you?" he said, with the air of someone holding the lid down on a pressure cooker. "In that case, I have a little something for you here."

He handed him a sheet of parchment.

Amazed that he had not been hit yet, Severus took the parchment and opened it. It was a fine. The parchment told him that he was to pay twenty Galleons to the Ministry of Magic for Apparating without a licence, or else spend two days in Azkaban.

He looked up at his father, and saw an evil grin on his face.

"And where are you going to get twenty Galleons from? I'm certainly not paying that fine for you, if that's what you thought. After all, you're an adult now. Have a nice time in Azkaban!"

And with that, he closed the door.

"Good," Severus thought as he stood on the front steps with the fine in his hand, "I can pay my own fine."

And without looking back, he flung out his wand arm, and stepped onto the Knight Bus.

"Diagon Alley," he said firmly.

**Chapter six: Potion making in Diagon Alley**

Diagon Alley was dark and quiet when he got there, and almost all the shops were closed. After all, it was nearly seven o'clock on Christmas Day. Christmas decorations had been put up in every window and strings of holly had been strung from roof to roof. As he had used all the money that he'd had in his pockets for the bus, Severus needed to find some kind of job before nightfall. He still had a week left of his holidays, surely there must be someone here in need for some extra help over the holidays that he could earn twenty Galleons from.

He wandered slowly through the deserted street. In the very far end of it, he saw a light in an upstairs window. The window was above a small apothecary shop, and a sign on the door read: "Closed. In emergency, please ring the doorbell." Well, Severus thought, this was maybe not the kind of emergency that they were probably thinking of, but he decided to try the doorbell anyway.

The door was opened by a middle aged witch.

"Good evening, my dear," she said. "Please come in. What can I do for you?"

Severus stepped into the shop, which was now lit by an oil lamp above the counter.

"I was actually wondering…" he began, but before he could finish his sentence, the witch had seen his face under the light, and her expression instantly changed into a look of horror.

"Oh, deary me, what has happened to you?" she exclaimed.

Deciding that it was probably best not to lie if he was going to ask for a job here, Severus answered truthfully: "Er, my father beat me up."

"Oh dear. Wait, I'll find you something that'll help."

She went behind the couter, where she rummaged through a chest of drawers. After about thirty seconds, she emerged with a handful of cotton and a bottle of some yellow liquid. She wet the cotton it it, and then dabbed ot gently on his face. It felt cool and soothing.

"You've been bleeding," she observed. "Is your nose broken?"

"I don't think so."

"Let me feel it." She touched his nose gently. "No, I think you've been lucky, it's not broken. But.. Have you got anywhere to stay for the night? I suppose you'll not be too keen to go home."

"Eh, I was actually wondering if you would need someone to help you in the shop over the holidays? I could stay in the Leaky Cauldron."

"Oh. Well, yes, I suppose we could do with some help. If you come upstairs, I can ask my husband about it. But I'm sure it'll be alright."

She opened a door to the right, and Severus followed her up a creaky, candle-lit staircase, and into the warm and cosy flat upstairs.

"Who was it, Isabel?" a voice came from an armchair by the fire.

"It was a young man looking for a job, Magnus. I'm sorry, I think I have forgotten to ask you your name."

"Severus Snape, madam."

"Well, Severus. This is my husband, Magnus Hartley, and I am Isabel."

"So you are looking for a job?" the man said.

"Just for the holidays," Severus hurried to assure him. Isabel went over to her husband and whispered something to him.

"And on Christmas Day," Severus heard him saying, and he saw him looking at him quickly, wide eyed. The wife nodded and whispered something more. Then the man came over to him.

"How old are you?"

"Seventeen, sir."

"And have you learned how to brew potions at school?"

"Yes, sir. I got an 'O' for my Potions OWL last summer."

"Very well, very well. I could do with some extra help." The apothecary smiled at him, and little sunrays appeared around the corners of his eyes. "I'm working on a rather tricky task, you see, and perhaps you could help me solve it. But not now. It's late. How about you have some supper with us, and then I'll explain the task to you in the morning."

The supper turned out to be one of the best Severus had ever had. Mrs. Hartley had made bread and butter pudding, which she served with cream, and to drink there was hot chocolate, also with cream. The whole atmosphere in the house was warm and welcoming, as if not just the occupants, but the whole flat was embracing him.

Severus could hardly speak. He had to swallow his bread and butter pudding again and again. It had been so long since anybody had been so nice to him. At home there was always some sort of trouble, and school was no better either. But this couple was so overwhelmingly kind. It was as if the intuitively understood. They didn't need to ask him any questions at all, they already knew. And without speaking it out loud, they told him "It's alright."

On Boxing Day Severus woke up at nine to the smell of eggs and bacon. Mr. and Mrs. Hartley had given him a spare bedroom to stay in. It was painted yellow and seemed to be filled with sunshine even though the sun was still behind the neighbouring houses. Although Severus' favourite colour was definitely not yellow – it was black – he actually liked this room. It somehow made him feel calm and happy.

He curled up under his warm blanket, lazily wondering what his parents were doing now. Hopefully they would have settled again – his father's anger generally came in blasts, followed by a calm period.

Then he suddenly remembered that he had nothing to wear, apart from his dress robes from the day before. Perhaps he could try to conjure something? He stretched for his wand, which was lying on top of the bedside cabinet. At least he'd need some clean underpants, he thought, so he decided to try to conjure that first.

They had only just started to work on conjuring spells with Professor McGonagall, but Severus knew the trick was to concentrate hard enough on the thing you were trying to conjure, while at the same time saying the incantation and doing the correct wand movement.

He closed his eyes, and tried to visualise very clearly a pair of clean underpants, as he said the spell.

There was a soft pop. Severus opened his eyes. Before him on the floor was a pair of underpants. Grey ones. In fact, they were an exact copy of the pair that he'd had on that day – that day – the ones that had been exposed for the whole school to see, and worse. The sight of them made him so angry that he promptly Vanished them again. He'd just have to try again and concentrate on some different looking pants, that was all, he told himself.

He raised his wand again and said the spell. This time the pants that appeared were red with yellow umbrellas. No, no, no, Severus thought, then vanished them and tried again.

On the third attempt, the pants that appeared were quite reasonable looking: green with no pattern. Relieved, Severus picked them up from the floor and put them on instead of his old ones.

He was just starting to wonder what to do next, when there was a soft knock on the door. He quickly wrapped himself in his blanket, before he said "Come in," and Isabel Hartley's face appeared in the door.

"Good morning! Have you had a good night?"

"Yes, thank you," Severus said, half embarrassed by being seen wearing nothing but a blanket.

"Look, I've got some clothes for you here that I wondered if you could wear. There are some robes and some Muggle style clothes that you'll need for your task today. Magnus'll explain more over breakfast. Just come through when you're ready."

She winked at him before she put at stack of clothes down on his bed and left again. Severus looked through the clothes. There was everything he needed, and some things that he wouldn't have thought he needed if Mrs. Hartley hadn't said. Among these last items were a winter coat saying "Adidas" in large, reflective letters across the back and a blue, knitted hat with matching gloves.

"It looks like I'll be going on an outdoor mission into the Muggle world today," Severus thought to himself, and he soon discovered he was right.

As the three of them were eating a delicious breakfast of eggs, bacon, sausages, beans, black pudding, tomatoes, mushrooms and toast, Mr. Hartley explained to Severus what sort of job he had in mind for him.

"You see," he said, through a mouthful of food, "I normally close the shop for the holidays. But there is still plenty to do, because when the shop is closed, I do research! Just now, I'm researching a particularly tricky potion. It's a potion meant for Lycanthropy patiens."

"Werewolves?" Severus said.

"Werewolves, yes. They've been researching it for years up at St. Mungo's, but never found a cure. But I've got this idea, see, and if I could only get it to work, it would be fantastic. I had a lady here again only the other week, she's been coming by for years. Her son's a werewolf, poor boy, and she doesn't know what to do for him. I have given her every potion that I know of that could possibly ease his pain, but nothing seems to work. But this time, I'm sure I'll find the solution!"

"That's what you always say," his wife smiled at him.

"Yes, but this time it's different," Mr. Hartley persisted. "I've got a brilliant idea, even if I do say so myself. If I could just trigger the right reaction in the potion… And I'm pretty certain this can be done by inserting two metal rods into it, charged with electricity."

"What is electricity?" Severus asked, trying not to sound stupid.

"Electricity is a force trapped in a box. Muggles use it for all kinds of things. These boxes are called 'batteries', and this is what I'll ask you to do, Severus: Go to this shop in Muggle London and buy me a battery."

He wrote the address down on a piece of parchment and handed it to Severus.

Severus had mixed feelings about this mission. On the one hand, he wasn't too keen on Muggles at all. They all found him strange, and he found them even stranger. But on the other hand, this was a kind of quest, almost, and Mr. Hartley had trusted him to carry it out. It was this trust that Severus liked more than anything. Mr. Hartley had spoken to him like an adult and given him some real work to do for his money, not just some silly, made-up task. So it was with a certain pride that he stepped out onto the icy pavements of Muggle London.

The Muggle street running parallel to Diagon Alley was, to Severus, a confusing and rather surrealistic mix of cars, pedestrians, buses, prams, tacky Christmas baubles and Santas, neon lights and posters advertising incomprehensible products. He walked a few paces along the pavement, not sure which direction he was going in.

A shop to the right was called "Boots", he saw, but he was rather puzzled to see that the shop did not sell boots or any kind of shoes at all. On the contrary, it sold shampoo and other kinds of bathroom products. An exhibition in the window showed a poster of an attractive, young woman with long, blonde hair, and the caption read: "Try Wella shampoo for greasy hair today. Guaranteed improvement in less than one week." In front of the poster were three plastic bottles, which also read "Wella – shampoo for greasy hair."

"Who on earth would deliberately make their hair more greasy?" Severus thought, disgusted. He turned away from the window, and nearly bumped into a young man wearing very high boots and trousers that were too wide for him at the bottom, who looked as if he used this shampoo regularly, or else had combed his hair with axle grease.

"Hey, watch out, man!" he said.

Severus looked at him, perplexed. The boy was just about to walk away when Severus came to his senses.

"Wait!" he said, and took the piece of parchment out of his pocket. "Could you please tell me where I could find this address?"

"Gerald's Garage," the boy read. "You'll need to take the underground for that. Just take the blue line to the second last stop. Then, as you get out of the station, take the first street on the left, and you'll see it. It's a good garage. I've had my Vespa fixed there before. They've got all sorts of equipment too, really cheap, they'll get anything for you there, anything, just ask. Hey… What's that you've written the address on? Papyrus?"

"No, just normal parch… uh, paper."

Severus' heart was suddenly pumping rather fast.

"That's not normal paper, mate. It's all yellow and funny. Oh, is it that unbleached, environmentally friendly type?"

"Yes, that's it," Severus hurried to say.

"Aha. Good for you, mate. I don't support them capitalist, mass-consumptionist pigs, either. Where did you get that paper from?"

"Er, just down the street there."

"Right. I'll maybe buy some of that. Well, good luck with your car!"

"Thanks!" Severus said, as the boy left.

Severus needed twenty seconds or so to calm down and get his pulse back to normal after this bizarre conversation and his near breach of the International Statute of Secrecy. Then he started to look around for an underground station. He had been on it once before with his mother, four or five years ago, on the way to visit his granny at St. Mungo's. His granny had died a few weeks later.

Almost immediately, Severus spotted a sign further down the street saying "underground". He headed directly for it. Inside the station, there were stairs going down, deep into the ground. The stairs were moving slowly downwards. Severus remembered that he'd been rather surprised to see this magic-like trick performed by Muggles the first time he'd seen it. He also remembered that on the same occasion, he had been yelled at for standing on the left hand side of the stairs, so this time he made sure to take a place on the right, behind an old lady with a poodle.

The stairs descended deeply into the ground, and Severus was reminded of the Hogwarts dungeons. Soon, too soon, he would be back in those dungeons. What new humiliations would the spring term have in store for him? Plenty, surely. But this time, he had his plan. Although it was working rather slowly at the moment, he felt certain that sooner or later he would succeed in getting James Potter and Sirius Black expelled. And with the Disillutionment Charm his plans would hopefully proceed a bit faster, even if that useless child Regulus failed to cough up any information for him.

He had reached the ticket office, where an old man behind the desk was looking extremely bored. "Go on," Severus told himself, "I can do this. It's no harder than buying a ticket for the Knight Bus." Checking that nobody was watching him, he took out the Muggle money that Mr. Hartley had given him. Then he realised he had no idea how much the underground cost. It surely couldn't be very expensive. He looked down at the notes in his hand. Two of them read "twenty Pound Stirling," while the third one read "ten Pound Stirling". Maybe the ticket price would say on a sign somewhere? He didn't want to hand the ticket man far too much or far too little, that would raise suspicion. Perhaps he could pretend to be foreign? But then again, he didn't speak any other language particularly well. He knew a bit of Latin, but that wasn't much use among Muggles.

Just as he was thinking this, he was passed by a rather hefty couple. They went straight up to the ticket desk, where the man said in a broad American accent: "Can we get tickets for the subway here?"

Severus had a sudden idea, and quickly went up and joined the queue. Pretending that he was part of their group, Severus kept close behind the two Americans, and watched them as they bought their tickets.

"Two, please," the man said. "Do you take Dollars?"

"No, sir. Thirty pence, please."

The man started rummaging through the pockets of his trousers, clearly with no success. Then he started on the pockets of his trench coat. This seemed to be made of nothing but pockets. On the outside alone, there were four. In the fourth one, the American man found two small coins, one silver coloured, and one copper. But this was obviously not enough to make thirty pence, because the man started to rummage feverently through his inner pockets as well. Severus could see little drops of sweat running down his neck, and he laughed silently to himself: Clearly it wasn't just wizards that were unfamiliar with British Muggle money. After several minutes, the man finally found a note in one of his inner pockets, which he slammed down on the counter with a broad smile.

"There!"

"Thank you," the ticket man said without smiling back. He took the note from the counter and counted out a handful of change which he gave to the American man along with his two tickets.

Severus now moved up to the head of the queue. In the broadest American accent he could muster, he said "One, please," and held out the ten Pound note.

The ticket man sighed.

"Do you not have any change?"

"No, sorry."

"Alright, then." He took the note, and now it was Severus' turn to receive a handful of change, along with a ticket.

"Thank you."

He turned around to see where the American couple had gone, and spotted them by the ticket barriers, feeding their tickets through a narrow slot. Severus remembered this from the time he'd been on the underground with his mother. He quickly followed the Americans and fed his ticket through the slot.

Inside the gate, he started looking for the blue line. Severus was clever enough to realise that "the blue line" meant a route, and not any kind of painted line. It took him about five minutes to find it, fortunately without having to ask anyone. Well inside the train, he counted the number of stops on the map. There were eleven stops between the station he was at and the second last one. Throughout the journey, he counted each stop carefully, so that when he got off the train, he was a hundred percent certain that this was the right place.

Out on the street again, Severus started looking round for Gerald's Garage. What was it the boy had said again? The first street on the left? Severus looked left, and saw the street forking out in a kind of y-shape. Which of the two streets was it the boy had meant? He'd maybe better ask again, he thought, so he went up to an old man, who was about to unlock a shining, black and very different looking car.

"Excuse me, sir," Severus said, "Could you please tell me the way to Gerald's Garage?"

"Certainly," the car owner smiled. "It's about five minutes walk in that direction." He indicated the left fork.

"Thank you," Severus said, and was about to leave.

But the car owner continued: "Excellent garage, yes, an excellent garage indeed. As you can see, I am the lucky owner of a T-Ford. They don't make these beauties any more, of course, and over the years it had become more and more difficult to find spare parts for it. But not after I started taking it to Gerald's. That man is a genius! He can manage to get any part for any car in the world! He can fix anything, including cars that other garages have given up on! I don't know how he does it!"

He patted his car on the roof, as if it was a dog. Severus was only mildly interested in this conversation, but he nodded and said "aha" and "you don't say" at the appropriate places until the man was empty at last, and shut up.

"So it's this way, then?" Severus said, hoping to be able to get away.

"Yes, about five minutes' walk, on the left hand side of the road."

"Thank you sir."

At last, Severus headed off.

It took him less than five minutes to find the garage. It was surprisingly small. From all the praise he'd heard about it, he had been expecting something huge. But Gerald's Garage was quite ordinary looking. When he went in through the front door of the shop, a bell sounded "ding ding", and almost immediately a man in his thirties, wearing a boiler suit, emerged from behind the counter. A cap on his head read "Gerald's Garage" in red letters, and a name tag on his chest read "Gerald Favel".

"Hi, I'm Gerald," the man said, unnecessarily, and shook Severus' hand. "And what can I do for you? You name it, we do it, is our motto! No problem too big, no damage too severe, no car make too obscure!"

"I was actually just wanting to buy a battery."

"Right!" Gerald said, without looking even slightly disappointed. "What make is your car?"

"Er, Vespa," Severus said, remembering the make that the boy had mentioned.

Gerald looked at him. A kind of glittering had appeared in his eyes, and the corners of his mouth twitched for a fraction of a second, before he returned abruptly to his normal manner again.

"No problem. We have a wide selection of batteries here. Are you looking for a powerful, good quality one?"

"Yes."

Severus was still puzzled about what that look on the man's face had meant. Surely he hadn't said anything wrong? The greasy haired boy had definitely mentioned the name Vespa. Gerald now went over to a shelf, and came back with a kind of white box, which was clearly rather heavy, since he was carrying it in both hands.

"And will you be paying in Pounds or Galleons?" he smiled.

It took Severus two or three seconds to realise what this sentence meant.

"Are… are you a wizard?" he spluttered out.

"Yes. But ssssh." Gerald held a finger up to his lips and winked.

"But… But how… Why…"

"It's very handy, really. People say this is the best garage in London. And it is! I can get hold of parts for cars that went out of production decades ago – I just Conjure them!"

"But isn't that illegal?"

"No, not at all. It's illegal to charm Muggle artefacts. But my car parts aren't charmed. They are the exact same as their Muggle counterparts. It's just the method of production that's different."

Gerald laughed. Severus, however, was dumbstruck.

"You're surprised? Not all wizards keep themselves to themselves, you know. There are more wizards than you think that take advantage of their advantage, so to speak. It's big business, this, you know. I'm not a great mechanic, really. I know the basics, but I'm not brilliant. But with a little magic…"

"But how did you know…"

"… you were a wizard?" Gerald finished the sentence for him. "I can spot a wizard miles away. It's like when super intelligent people immediately recognise each other, or people who have been ill-treated, or whatever. You always know when someone is like yourself."

Severus was unnerved. Not only had this man spotted him for a wizard right away, he also knew two of his other traits. Was it a coincidence, or could he read minds? No, surely not, the bruise on his cheek must have given him away. But how could he know that he was a wizard? Severus felt naked and exposed, and very uncomfortable.

Gerald laughed again. "I can see it in your eyes, if you like. And," he winked, "Vespa is not a car make. It's a type of scooter. Now, what were you really planning to use that battery for?"

Severus returned to Mr. and Mrs. Hartley's shop with the heavy car battery that afternoon feeling rather sheepish. "Here's your battery," he muttered, as he dumped it on the table in Mr. Hartley's laboratory. The laboratory was situated in an old shed in the back yard, and Mr. Hartley had rigged up a huge cauldron there, which was steaming with purple smoke.

"Good!" Mr. Hartley said through the clouds of vapour. "And how is my friend Gerald? I haven't seen him for ages!"

"You knew all along that he was a wizard!"

"Of course Gerald is a wizard, did I forget to mention it?"

"But why did you give me Muggle money to pay him with?"

"Oh, he prefers that for his business. He deals mainly with Muggles, you know. So – how is he? Is business booming as usual?"

"I think so."

"Good, good. Now. This battery. What do you think, should we give it a go after dinner?"

When Severus and Mr. Hartley came back to the shed an hour and a half later, the cauldron seemed to have cooled off a little, since it wasn't steaming anymore. Instead, the potion inside it was gleaming and glittering with purple sparks. Mr. Hartley bent over it and sniffed it.

"Ah, this is looking promising."

"Shall I get the battery?" Severus asked.

"Yes, please," said Mr. Hartley, and Severus went and picked it up from the table, along with two lengths of copper wire and two metal rods that Mr. Hartley had left there.

"Now, if I have understood this right…" Mr. Hartley said to himself, as he started fastening each metal rod to the copper wire.

"And now, if I insert this into the potion before I …"

He carefully inserted the metal rods into the purple potion with two soft splashes. The ends that were connected to the copper wire were sticking up.

"Severus, could you please hold the cauldron steady when I connect the battery? I'm not sure what the reaction will be, and I don't want the potion to spill. But, by all means, if it hurts, let go."

Severus nodded and gripped the iron rim of the cauldron.

"Are you ready?"

Mr. Hartley held the two ends of the copper wire over the battery between the thumb and forefinger of his dragon hide gloves. Severus wished he had gloves too.

Bracing himself mentally, he drew a deep breath, as Mr. Hartley counted "One … Two … Three!"

A charge like nothing he had ever felt before went through Severus' body. There was no way he could hold on to the cauldron; before he could even think, he had jumped several feet backwards, then he fell as the room exploded in purple liquid, steam and golden sparks.

Severus came to his senses again a few seconds later. When he opened his eyes, he saw that the room was splattered in potion from room to floor. There were bits of broken glass everywhere, mainly from the jars that had been stored on shelves along the walls. Several of the shelves had been knocked over in the explosion, and some of them were now reduced to piles of splinters and rubble. The table lay on its side under a broken window. The cauldron alone seemed unaffected. Apart from being empty, it looked as if it hadn't been touched, sitting upright in the middle of the whole scene of destruction.

Suddenly a thought struck Severus like a bolt of lightening: Where was Mr. Hartley? He got to his feet gingerly. His knees were feeling a bit unreliable, and a strange prickling was going through his skin. On the back of his head a sore bump was developing.

"Mr. Hartley?" he whispered. "Mr. Hartley, are you there?"

Severus started looking through the debris of one of the shelves, which had fallen and smashed on the spot where Severus thought the battery and Mr. Hartley had been. He was feeling more and more nervous. Mr. Hartley wasn't replying. If he was under there, he must have been knocked out cold. Or worse.

Severus was nearly starting to panic now. He was throwing the bits of smashed wood and glass aside, calling out louder and louder: "Mr Hartley! Mr. Hartley!"

"What's happened?" Isabel Hartley appeared in the door.

"The potion exploded! And the shelves fell over, and he was buried under them!"

Severus and Mrs. Hartley looked at each other for a second that lasted an eternity, and each could see the fear in the other's face.

Suddenly Mrs. Hartley drew a sharp breath, as if she was mentally shaking herself to her senses. She pulled her wand out of her skirt pocket and aimed at the pile of rubble. Severus quickly stepped out of the way, before Mrs. Hartley said "Reparo" in a shaking voice. The shelf immediately flew back together, and revealed an unconscious Magnus Hartley.

Isabel ran over to him and bent down over him.

"Magnus!" she cried, "Magnus, wake up!"

"We've got to take him to bed," Severus whispered. For some reason his voice wouldn't work right. Spells and incantations were flashing through his mind – did he know a spell that could help Mr. Hartley? Vingardium Leviosa, perhaps? No, that would just lift him up, not transport him. But how about Locomotor? Yes, that would maybe work. Although he had only used it on things before, not people. But he vaguely remembered having read something once about it being used on unconscious humans. What would the incantation be, though?

"Locomotor Homo!" he tried desperately. Nothing happened.

Da it, he thought, it must be the wrong incantation. All he had ever learned about Latin conjugations was racing though his head. Locomotor Homus? Homis?

"Locomotor Man!" he tried, why not, when Locomotor Trunk worked on his school trunk. But "Locomotor Man" clearly didn't. Sometimes there was just no logic in magic.

"Will he be alright?" Mrs. Hartley sniffed. Severus didn't know what to say to that. Surely Mr. Hartley would be alright? But how were you supposed to say so to his crying and worried wife without sounding like you didn't mean it?

But before he could say anything, the solution popped into his head: The Conjuring Spell! He could conjure a stretcher, and then Locomotor it! With all his might, he concentrated on picturing a stretcher, as he said the spell. And with a pop, a perfectly sized and shaped stretcher appeared on the floor before him. "Necessity is the mother of invention", he thought – he seemed to have mastered the Conjuring Spell now. With a Vingardium Levoisa, he lifted Mr. Hartley onto it. And then, with a Locomotor Stretcher, he carefully carried him to his bedroom, Mrs. Hartley running ahead to open doors.

Mr. Hartley remained in his bed for several days. The family healer came along to mend his broken bones. After that, Mr. Hartley insisted that he was well enough to get back to work. His wife, however, wouldn't let him get up too soon. (Severus wondered is she was related to Madam Pomfrey). This resulted in Severus being given the responsibility to open the shop again on the third day of Christmas, while Mrs. Hartley kept running back and forth between him in the shop and her husband upstairs.

Severus had never really thought of himself as being particularly good with potions. He remembered Florence saying it was her second favourite subject. Severus liked the subject too, and he had received an 'O' for it. But he had received 'O's for almost all his OWLs. Now, having been given the task of looking after an apothecary shop, however, he realised how much he liked the subject. And what more: He discovered that he could manage the shop quite easily, and he enjoyed it. Sometimes the customers would ask for potions that could be found ready made on the shelves. But sometimes there would be a customer who would need to have a potion specially made, and it was these tasks that Severus enjoyed the most. Every evening, after the shop was closed, he would go to work in the repaired shed and brew potions that customers had ordered. The Hartleys had a large collection of books containing potion recipes, from the ancient, leather bound "Moste Potente Potions" to the modern paperback "Home Healer for the Whole Family". And Severus pursued them all, often working till past midnight, brewing potions that would heal infected snake bites, cure verbal diarrhoea, ease growing pain or cure Butterbeer addiction. It almost made him feel like he was back in his chapel, playing his old game again, and he wished he could stay with the Hartleys forever, and never go home or back to school. But he knew the day would be here very soon.

In the evening of the second last day of his holidays, Severus was having supper with Mr. and Mrs. Hartley in their warm, old-fashioned kitchen. Mr. Hartley had finally been allowed up again by his wife, and was now eager to get out to his shed to work on the Lycantrophy potion.

"I think I know what went wrong," he said eagerly. "I reckon the rods shouldn't have touched the bottom of the cauldron. And with the Azakia extract … It probably reacted with the copper dust I put in it, and caused the explosion when the electricity was added. It would probably work better if I reduced the amount of Azakia extract … or copper … What do you think, Severus?"

Severus didn't answer at first. He was sitting with his head in his hands, staring blindly into the air in front of him. Tomorrow would be the day. The day when he would first have to go home, then travel back to Hogwarts.

A film was playing before his eyes. It was the same film again that had kept coming back to him for the last six months. It was the day of his Defence Against the Dark Arts exam. Like the potion, it too had had to do with werewolves. He was sitting by the lake, thinking through is answers. Had he remembered to mention the difference between a werewolf and an Animagus? But then Black and Potter were suddenly there. He was closed in by a circle of people. Curious eyes. Laughing mouths. The laughter was ringing in his ears. They were like seagulls, screeching, laughing, screaming with joy as they pulled their meal to pieces. There was nowhere to escape to. Nowhere to hide. He felt himself being torn apart by the hundreds of birds, beaks, screeching, screaming. He was screaming.

"Severus, are you alright?"

Mr. Hartley leant forward and touched his shoulder.

Severus jumped.

"I… Yes… Yes, I'm alright."

"Are you … thinking about what it'll be like when you come home tomorrow?"

"That too."

"I see."

Mr. Hartley went quiet for a few seconds. Then, apparently in an attempt to change the subject, he said: "Are you looking forward to going back to school, then?"

Severus looked away. He felt his throat tighten.

"No?" Mrs. Hartley said softly.

"I…" Severus began. But he couldn't speak. He couldn't speak about these things. He didn't want to be seen crying.

"You don't need to speak about it if you don't want to," she said.

"You know, you have been a very good assistant. Both with the shop and with the research," Mr. Hartley said.

"Yes, the customers are very pleased," Mrs. Hartley agreed. "Some have been asking if you would be working here permanently. I said we might ask you to come and work for us after next year."

"Yes, that's a good idea, my dear," Mr. Hartley nodded. "Then you could help me invent potions again, maybe we could start developing new potions more professionally!"

"I … I don't know."

"You don't have to decide yet. But I wondered if you could help me with one thing before you go. It was this Lycanthropy potion – Would you rather reduce the amount of Azakia extract or the amount of copper?"

This question finally caught Severus' attention. He had been thinking of something while he'd been working in the shed, when Mr. Hartley had been ill.

"How about replacing the Azakia with Monkshood?" he said, "You know – Wolfsbane?"

It was snowing heavily when Severus got off the Knight Bus outside his house shortly before noon the next morning. He had already been to the Ministry and paid his fine. And what more – he had been to Gringotts and made a quite significant deposit to his bank account. The Hartleys had decided to pay him quite a bit more than the 20 Galleons that he needed, so now there was actually some gold in his vault, which was unusual. "It might come in handy later, maybe I could stay at the Leaky Cauldron for part of the summer holidays instead of coming back here," he thought with a savage pleasure. At least, today's visit to his home was going to be very short, he hoped. He would just get his stuff and go. He had already booked a seat on the Knight Bus to go to Hogwarts later on. With a deep breath, as if he was getting ready to dive into a cold lake, he took the key out of his pocket, unlocked the front door of his house, and went inside.

"Severus! Where have you been all this time! I've been worried sick! I thought you were dead! I thought you were never coming back! Your father has been worried too. He's been out looking for you every day!"

Lucie Snape was looking like she didn't know whether to smile or cry.

"He has? All I heard was him wishing me a nice time in Azkaban," Severus said in an ice cold voice.

"Severus, darling. You know he didn't mean that seriously."

"So why did he say it, then?"

"He was just angry, he wasn't thinking."

"Yes, he was angry because he had just beaten us both up. He should be the one to go to Azkaban, not me!"

"You haven't been to Azkaban, have you?"

His mother was looking horrified now.

"What if I have?"

"Oh, Severus! Please tell me you haven't been in Azkaban! I would have paid that fine for you, of course I would, I could still do, if you need it, of course, as long as Brutus doesn't know …"

"Where is he?"

"Out. Not sure where he was going, he never tells me."

Upon hearing that his father was out of the house, the ice cubes that had been floating around in Severus' stomach since the morning, suddenly melted. A wave of affection came over him, and he hugged his mother, wrapped his arms around her, and let her wrap her arms around him.

"It's alright, mum. I haven't been in Azkaban. The fine is paid."

"But how …?"

"I got myself a holiday job in Diagon Alley."

"Oh, Severus," his mum said for the second time, and squeezed him tighter. "You're fairly growing up, aren't you?"

She looked at him affectionately.

"What kind of job was it?"

"In an apothecary shop."

Instead of looking delighted, Severus saw that his mother was frowning slightly.

"Not with Mr. and Mrs. Hartley?"

"So what if it was with them?"

Severus was feeling confused and annoyed now. The warm feeling inside him was quickly cooling again. He let go if his mother, and took a step back.

"It's just that …" Lucie was looking uncertain. "Don't tell your dad it was with them, alright?"

"And why shouldn't I?"

"I'm not sure if he would like it."

"Why not?" Severus said, but he thought he knew the answer already. The Hartleys were too friendly with Muggles and people that his father would call "as good as Muggles" – Gerald Favel, for example.

"I can take a job wherever I want! It's none of his business!"

"Of course you can, I just thought it would be better if you didn't …"

"He can say what he likes, I don't care!"

"But Severus, please, you know what he's like when he's …"

"Look, mum. I'll just go upstairs, grab my stuff and go, alright?"

He turned around quickly and swept up the stairs without waiting for an answer.

Severus had nearly finished packing his trunk when he heard the front door being opened downstairs. Both his parents' voices were now coming from the hall, and he guessed his mother was telling his father that he was there. He put the last two books on top of the pile in his trunk and closed it, before he went out to face the inevitable.

Standing on the topmost stair with his trunk beside him, Severus looked down at his father. Brutus Snape was staring back up at his son with a stony expression on his face. His wife was looking nervously from the one to the other.

"Son."

"Father."

There was a tense pause of several seconds. Severus' father continued to look at him, and Severus didn't want to be the first one to avert his eyes.

"You are home."

"Obviously."

There was silence again. Lucie Snape was twisting her hands nervously.

When his father didn't say anything else, Severus lifted up his trunk and walked very slowly and deliberately downstairs, still carefully retaining his father's gaze with his own. He reached the door and opened it slowly. Without looking back, he crossed the threshold.

"Goodbye, darling," he heard his mother whisper.

He slowly turned around to look at her, and gave a single nod in return.

**Chapter seven**

The time was coming up to half past five when Severus entered through the winged boar gates of the Hogwarts grounds. It was pitch dark, and the trees were rustling. A thin layer of snow was covering the ground.

Severus could hear his stomach rumbling. There was a pain in his shoulders, too. The pain intensified as the school came closer.

When he was younger, Severus had often suffered from a stomach ache. He remembered being sent to see Madam Pomfrey about it in his second year, but the matron had been unable to find the cause. The last two or three years, however, his stomach pain had pretty much ceased. Instead he had developed this pain in his shoulders, and he did not know what caused it. Madam Pomfrey had had his eyesight checked, and it certainly wasn't that.

He was nearly there now. His hands were balled up to tight fists inside the sleeves of his robes, although Severus did not notice. The pain that had started in his shoulders, had now spread to his neck, and was sending rays and stings down his back.

As quietly and shadow-like as he could manage, he slipped through the front doors. Inside, he looked around the Entrance Hall to see who was there. Luckily, the only person present was a Hufflepuff girl, who was hurrying across the hall in the opposite direction and was taking no notice of him. Severus hurried down to his dormitory, where he dropped off his trunk. His stomach was rumbling loudly now. Thankfully, dinner was due to start soon.

A few minutes later, Severus entered the Great Hall. There were quite a few students there, and more were arriving. He was reminded of the first day back after the summer holidays. This thought was promptly accompanied by a sharp stab of pain between his shoulder blades. He glanced quickly up at the staff table and saw both Professor Dumbledore and Professor McGonagall there. Which meant that he was safe for now. Still, as he was walking past the other house tables towards the Slytherin table, he felt like an antenna, finely tuned in to pick up any whisper of "Snivellus".

_Little Regulus Black was watching Severus Snape eat his dinner from the opposite end of the Slytherin table. He noticed how the older boy was not speaking with anyone. Instead he was looking over at a girl with long, brown hair, who was sitting with her back to him at the Ravenclaw table. She seemed to be around Severus' age. Regulus didn't know who she was. He was glad, though, that Severus seemed to have something else on his mind, other than trying to interrogate him about his brother. He knew he would soon be asked to come forward with more information. But he was not sure how much he wanted to tell him. He had found out a good deal over the holidays, but did Severus deserve his service?_

"What's in it for me?"

It was dark in the dungeon below the Slytherin common room, but a strip of light from a nearby stairway fell across the little boy's face and revealed a cheeky expression. Severus glared at him.

"What's in it for you?" he repeated in a silky tone. "Let's see. Either you disclose your information, and enjoy my gratitude," he made a short pause for effect, "or you choose to remain silent and suffer my displeasure."

Severus could see that Regulus' jaw was tight now. The little boy was staring at him like some small animal trying to look intimidating in a hopeless attempt to scare off an approaching predator. Severus laughed a cold laugh.

"Well?"

"The thirteenth," Regulus finally said. "They are going out on the thirteenth."

"That's better. And where is it they're going on the thirteenth?"

"Don't know. The Shrieking Shack, I think."

"Just as I thought."

The days coming up to the thirteenth January were moving so slowly that Severus wondered whether somebody had put an Impediment Jinx on the calendar. He had it all planned out: When the thirteenth finally came, as soon as their lectures were over, he would sneak out to the Shrieking Shack, find a hiding place with a good view, and wait there till they arrived. Patrick Parkinson had been so kind as to lend him his camera – he was hoping to get some photo evidence, just in case he couldn't get Potter and his gang caught by a teacher red handed. He had also found a useful spell in a library book: The Teleaudium Charm, which would extend his hearing range by up to three times his normal hearing, depending on the acoustic conditions. He had mastered the Disillutionment Charm perfectly, there was no way they would spot him unless they were very close up. This was it. In a few more days now, just a few more days, that arrogant big-head Potter would be expelled, along with his conceited friend Black the pretty-boy.

The morning of the thirteenth of January finally arrived clear and frosty. The post owls arrived half way through breakfast, as usual. An Eagle Owl just missed Severus' bowl of porridge, and landed instead on his tea mug, which fell over and spilled black tea everywhere, which caused the owl to take off again and land on the back of his chair instead. Severus recognised the owl as Lucius Malfoy's. He was somewhat surprised to see it. What was Lucius writing to him at this time for? The next Hogsmeade weekend was ages away still, and Lucius, like himself, was normally not a fan of general chit-chat. So it must be something important.

Severus ripped the envelope open. The note inside it read: "Meet me by the oak tree on the edge of the Forbidden Forest at seven o'clock tonight. Lucius." Dan it, Severus thought. This might well spoil the plan. Would he still be able to catch Black and Potter after whatever it was that Lucius had in mind? How early would he need to be by the Shrieking Shack? It had been quite late last time, on his birthday, when he had thought he'd heard them in the Entrance Hall. So he might be able to catch them still, even after having met up with Lucius. Knowing that he had no real choice, Severus scratched "OK" on the back of Lucius' letter in his spiky handwriting, before he sent the note back with the Eagle owl.

Severus was watching the Gryffindor table closely over dinner that night. He saw Potter, Black, Lupin and Pettigrew huddeled together near the bottom end of it. They were laughing and whispering excitedly together. Every now and then one of them, usually Pettigrew, would cast a glance up towards the staff table, as if to check that no-one was overhearing them. Lupin was the only one amongst them that was a bit more serious looking. He was laughing with the others, but his laughter seemed somewhat half hearted. Maybe he was getting cold feet, Severus thought. Lupin was a prefect, after all. Probably he was torn between his duty to put a stopper to his friends' rule breaking and wanting to take part in it.

When they left the table, Severus followed them at a safe distance. He saw Potter glance up at the enchanted ceiling of the Great Hall, and then look at his watch. He must have got some sort of information from this, because he then said something to Black, upon which Lupin said "ssh!". After a nod from Potter, they all disappeared up the marble staircase. So they were going up to Gryffindor Tower, Severus thought, relieved. This would mean that he had some time yet. He quickly slipped out the front doors and ran through the dark grounds towards the Forbidden Forest to meet up with Lucius.

Lucius Malfoy was waiting for him under the big, old oak tree, as he had said. He was holding an envelope in his hand. He greeted Severus with a nod.

"I hear you made good use of your Christmas holidays?" he said with a sly smile. Severus wasn't sure what he meant.

"We are pleased with you."

We?

"And we will be even more pleased once you tell us what you know."

Severus was now completely lost. What on earth was Lucius speaking about? And who were "we"?

"So," Lucius continued, "I suppose you have seen this?"

He took a newspaper cutting out of his envelope. It showed a picture in Gerald Favel, the garage owner, and the caption read "missing". Severus went on to read the short article that followed.

"Gerald Favel, 34, owner of Gerald's Garage in London, was reported missing from his home on Wednesday night this week. When ministry officials arrived at Mr. Favel's house at six o'clock on Wednesday evening, they found the house empty, with traces of a possible fight. Mr. Favel's garage was likewise searched, but no clues to his whereabouts were found. Anyone with information regarding Mr. Favel's whereabouts for the last week are urged to speak to the Ministry of Magic."

Severus looked from the newspaper cutting to Lucius, trying his best not to show how shocked he was.

"Tut, tut, tut," Lucius laughed, "what clumsy clots. Leaving traces in the blood traitor's house like that. Could have done a much better job myself. Anyway – I might get my chance soon. So – I hear you spent your holidays with a certain pair of … what shall I say … Muggle lovers?"

Severus merely looked at his friend through narrowed eyes. He suspected that this conversation was moving in a dangerous direction, so it was better to remain silent until he knew more about where this was going.

"Very good, very good," Lucius continued. "Clever – making yourself useful over the holidays. I always knew we could trust you, Severus."

Lucius gave Severus a true smile – something which he very rarely did. This made Severus feel that he ought to say something.

"I know who Gerald Favel is," he said.

The moon was fully risen by the time Lucius left. It shone round and white above the hill at the back of the village, and Severus saw the squint outline of the Shrieking Shack silhouetted against the dark sky. He could hear a faint howling through the darkness. The wind was picking up, and the trees were rustling, their bare, black twigs shuddering. On the ground was a thin layer of ice that made a crunching noise when he stood on it.

Severus took his wand out. Holding it carefully up to his left ear, he whispered "Teleaudio". He did the same thing with his right ear too. The difference was instant and amazing. It was as if balls of cotton had been removed from his ears, or as if the volume had suddenly been turned up after having been set on minimum for a long time. The howling was distinct and clear now. Had it come closer, or did it just seem so due to his improved hearing? The sound seemed to be coming from the direction of the village. With the swift stealth of a bat, Severus glided in between the dark trees of the Forbidden Forest, and set his course for the village.

He could hear his own footsteps crunching loudly, trees were whispering and hushing, and owl was hooting, he could hear every rat, every weasel, every little creepy-crawly rustling and rummaging as he hurried through the forest. He was keeping to the edge of it, just out of sight from the path that led up to the castle. The trees were like black pillars holding up the moonlit ceiling of an ancient temple.

At the edge of the forest, just where the forest started to turn into village, Severus stopped behind a tree. He'd better out the Disillutionment Charm on himself, he thought, before he risked entering the village. He got his wand out again, and tapped himself on the top of his head with it, while he whispered "Disillutio!". A chilly sensation spread down his body, and when he looked down on himself, he saw that both his skin and his clothes now had the exact colour and texture of the tree he was hiding behind. He was ready.

Very carefully, he peeped around the thick, black tree trunk, and received a shock. No more than thirty feet away from him, a pair of yellow eyes were gleaming in the moonlight. The eyes belonged to a gigantic, black dog. It was hard to see the outline of its ragged fur in the dark, and it would have been difficult to spot, had it not been for its eyes vividly reflecting the moon. It was standing completely still, sniffing the air. Slowly, its head turned. Its yellow eyes were now looking directly at Severus. Severus' heart was beating fast. Had he been seen? He pressed his back against the tree trunk. He could hear the dog's breath wheezing and sniffing. He didn't know why, but there was something about this dog that frightened him, almost as if the dog knew that he was not supposed to be there. He heard the dog's crunching footsteps coming nearer, its breathing was close and silent now, it could only be feet away, just on the other side of the tree. Severus hoped that the dog couldn't hear his heart hammering. He held his breath.

Like an enormous, black shadow, the dog crept around the tree trunk. Severus could see its long, white teeth. Its eyes were shining on him like two bright torches. "Please," Severus prayed, "please, don't let it see me …". He was almost invisible, but he would still, of course, smell of human. The dog was just inches away from him now. Severus didn't know why he was so scared. Scared of a dog. Slowly it stretched its nose out and sniffed again. This was it. It was bound to have smelled him. Should he reach for his wand?

But before he had made up his mind, a funny, high-pitched bark broke the air, and along with it came the sound of hooves against the hard surface of the street behind him. The dog suddenly turned, its attention fixed on the new sound. It stood still for a fraction of a second, before it bounced away towards it.

Severus allowed himself to breathe again. "That was close," he thought, before reason caught up with him: Close to what? Still leaning against the tree, he peered out onto the quiet street again. Next to the black dog stood the most beautiful stag he had ever seen. Its profile was straight backed and proud, its antlers were like a crown, dimly reflecting the moonshine. The stag flickered its head, almost as if it were nodding, and set off towards the hills in a gracious gallop. The ragged dog took one last look in Severus' direction, before it followed.

It was nearly half past four in the morning when Severus finally sneaked in through the front doors of the castle. He had spent six cold hours looking around for Potter and his gang, mainly waiting outside the Shrieking Shack, well hidden. But there had been no sign of either of them, nor had he seen that dog again. He was shivering, and his muscles were aching after sitting still for so long.

He kept along the walls of the Entrance Hall – he was still Disillutioned, so as long as he made sure that he had a backdrop, he was pretty much invisible. He would hate to bump into a teacher now. Or worse, Filch. The only trouble was to get across the gap of open space where that corridor – the one with the broom cupboard – let out from the hall. He would have to cross it, or else walk along to the very end of it.

Severus squinted around in the dark. There was nobody around, as far as he could see. He decided to risk crossing the corridor. With a soft swish of his robes, he ran across, and reached the opposite wall, where the entrance to the stairway that led down to the dungeons was.

He had just reached the other side when a bright light suddenly shone on his face. The light was dazzling him, he couldn't see where it was coming from. It took him a second or two to realise that the light was actually coming from a wand tip – Minerva McGonagall's wand tip.

"Illutio!" she said. A hot sensation spread across Severus' body, and with a thrill of horror he realised that he had become visible again.

"I suppose you have a good reason for being up at this time of night, Mr. Snape?"

"No, professor," he muttered.

Professor McGonagall was looking sad.

"I am disappointed with you, Severus. I didn't think you were the kind of student that would sneak around at night like this."

Severus could see Professor McGonagall clearly now. She was wearing a dressing gown and a hair net, and she didn't seem remotely embarrassed by it.

"I am afraid I will have to give you a detention for this. Tomorrow night, eight o'clock, in my office. Oh yes, and ten points from Slytherin. Now, go to bed and get some sleep, so that you stand a chance during the lectured tomorrow. I'll be testing all my sixth years this week, so you'd better not miss anything."

And with that, she strode off, and left a rather subdued Severus to slouch back to his dormitory.

_"I tell you, it was him!" _

_Sirius' eyes were almost sparkling with rage as he whispered furiously to his three best friends through gritted teeth. The three others were looking back at him through the grey twilight of the secret tunnel. They were all in human form now, and all were looking either furious or worried._

_"How do you know it was him?" James asked._

_"I can recognise that smell any time."_

_"The smell of grease and dirty underpants." sniggered Peter._

_"This isn't funny, Peter!" Remus said in an uncharacteristically tense voice. "We could have been caught, we could have been … I could have …" _

_He swallowed._

_"This will not go unheeded," James said in a stern voice._

_"No," agreed Sirius, his eyes narrowed. "I will see to that. That greasy little git will regret that he ever tried to spy on us!"_

**Chapter eight**

The next day in class, Professor McGonagall indeed announced that she'd be testing them the next lesson.

"The test will be on Conjuring Spells, which you should have mastered by now."

Severus saw James Potter and Sirius Black exchange smug looks up on the front row. He knew they loved being tested. In fact, Severus himself was the only one whose marks rivalled those of Black's and Potter's. The only difference was that Severus didn't go and brag about his marks the way they did. He knew that he had mastered Conjuring perfectly, and that he would likely get an 'O' on the test, but he didn't go and tell the whole school about it.

Today's lesson turned out to be about Human Transfiguration. Professor McGonagall spent a large part of the lesson lecturing them on how dangerous this magic could potentially be if anything went wrong.

"So you must pay attention and concentrate properly. You don't want to live the rest of your lives with a pig's snout for a nose."

Both Sirius Black and James Potter turned around and gave him an evil grin each, and Sirius whispered something that Severus was pretty sure was something along the lines of "that would suit him better than the nose he's got."

McGonagall continued "An old wizard in Cardiff had to spend the last ten years of his life as an umbrella. He transfigured himself – Merlin knows why – but when he wanted to go back to his human form, he found that as an umbrella, he couldn't use his wand. So he was trapped as an umbrella forever more."

There was a general giggling around the class. Black and Potter, however, where whispering together, and now they were both shooting him looks of pure loathing.

"But if no one ever found him and rescued him, how come you know about it then?" Peter Pettigrew asked so sincerely that everybody burst out laughing.

Everybody apart from Severus. From the looks that his arch enemies had just given him, he knew this was going to be a bad day.

Severus spent the rest of the day dodging people's looks and hiding in various places, his shoulders getting steadily more painful. The ten minute breaks between classes were the worst. The lunch hour wasn't so bad, at least everybody was busy eating then. But during the short breaks, as always when the weather was nice, the teachers insisted on everybody going out into the courtyard, which was practically void of hiding places.

There was a statue of one of the nine Muses at the very opposite end that was possible to hide behind, but this meant crossing the whole courtyard and attracting everybody's looks, which felt like running the gauntlet. Twice he managed to avoid the courtyard by pretending to be going to the toilet, but the last break he felt he couldn't use that excuse again, or Professor Merriman, who was patrolling the corridors, would be getting suspicious.

Out in the courtyard, he immediately spotted Florence near the door below Ravenclaw Tower. With her were two other girls. One of them he recognised as the mousy haired one who had taken Florence away from his birthday party. The other one had long, straw coloured hair, and a goose on a leash. Severus stood by the wall and watched them for several minutes before they noticed he was there. It was Florence who spotted him first.

"Oh, hi, Severus!"

The fair haired girl gave Florence a quizzical look that said "do you know him?"

"This is Severus Snape," Florence said. "He's in my Defence class."

The other two nodded, with no real interest.

"Severus, you've met my friend Bertha, haven't you? Bertha Jorkins, she's in Hufflepuff, and so is Lydia. Lydia Jones." She indicated the goose owner.

"I've seen them around," Severus said indifferently.

"We had Care of Magical Creatures together in our third year, I think," Lydia Jones said.

"How come you have that goose with you everywhere you go?" Severus said for a reply.

"Jessie is my pet! I've had her since I was four!" Lydia scowled.

"I thought the rules only allowed cats, owls and toads?"

"I got a special permission from Dumbledore, if you must know."

"Does it deliver your mail too?" Severus asked in an unfriendly tone.

"Listen, Severus?" Florence cut him off pointedly, "Do you have a Transfiguration test this week too? How about we meet up in the library and practice for it later?"

Severus had planned to retreat to the Slytherin common room as soon as he could after dinner. However, this was Florence asking. For some reason he felt he couldn't say no to her.

"Sure," he said, a bit more grumpy that he had meant to. "See you after dinner, then?" he added in a friendlier tone.

"Alright," Florence nodded.

The bell rang, and the three girls went in, Jessie the goose trailing behind them. Severus followed slowly. In his stomach a stone was churning with mixed dread and anticipation.

It was too early still when he entered the library. He had eaten in a hurry to get away from the Great Hall, and Florence had only just started her meal when he left. It was alright, the library was quiet. He would just look around in the Defence Against the Dark Arts section for a while until Florence turned up.

Severus soon found his favourite aisle and started going down in. He ran his finger along the beautiful, leather bound spines as he went. "Dark Wizards in Twelfth Century France." "A Comprehensible Companion to Counter Curses." "Dark Arts and Animal Curses" – he already had a copy of that one at home, but an impulse made him take it down from the shelf. He couldn't quite get rid of this idea that Potter and his gang were doing something illegal that involved animals. And there was something about that dog. He just couldn't quite put his finger on what it was yet.

He opened the book and started looking at random pages. "Transfiguration: Man to Frog. This is a most ancient spell, which can only be broken by the kiss of a princess …" no… "Trapping a Girl's Soul in a Bird's Body: Seagull, Pigeon, Swan …" no …

"Looking up Dark curses again, are you, Snivellus?"

Severus turned around so quickly that he nearly dropped the book. In the aisle, shoulder to shoulder, were James Potter, Sirius Black and Peter Pettigrew, blocking the exit like a draw-bar. So this was it. He had sensed it coming all day. He might as well just face it, and hope that it would be over before Florence turned up.

"What I'm doing here is none of your business, Potter," he sneered.

"Ooo, I'm so scared," Sirius mocked. Then his eyes suddenly flashed with lightning.

"You think you're so clever, Snivellus – You think you can outsmart us with that dirty, Dark tricks of yours, eh? I'll show you what I think of you!"

He advanced on him with his wand raised threateningly in front of him like a sword ready to attack, but James raised his hand:

"Wait. Why don't we … help him with his homework?"

"What?" Peter Pettigrew exclaimed, "Help him – with his homework!"

"Yes," James explained in a put-on friendly tone. "We have a Transfiguration test this week, remember? How about we Vanish some of his clothes, and see if he can Conjure them back again?"

An evil grin appeared on Sirius' face, and Peter sniggered in his usual way. At the same time, somebody giggled behind the bookshelf.

All three boys turned around.

"Looks like your fanclub has arrived, mate," James said teasingly to Sirius.

"Come out, there's no need to hide," Sirius said briskly.

A blushing, but still giggling Bertha Jorkins appeared at the end of the aisle.

Bertha – did that mean that Florence was in the vicinity as well? No, please don't let her be here yet, Severus prayed. She mustn't see this.

There was nothing else for it – Care for the library books to the winds: he dropped the book he was holding on the floor and drew his wand.

But James had his wand out already.

"Petrificus!" he laughed.

Severus froze with his arm half way up. This was the standard Petrifius, not Petrificus Totalus, so he was able to remain standing, frozen like a statue.

Everybody laughed, particularly Bertha.

"Hm, let me see…" James said casually, "I think I'll confiscate this for the moment."

He took Severus' wand out of his frozen hand.

"Now, where were we?"

"You were helping him revise for his Transfiguration test," Sirius reminded him. "Here, let me."

Severus couldn't see what Sirius was doing, but he heard the incantation, and he knew what it meant. The knot of dread tightened further in his stomach.

There was a wave of laughter. Sirius' spell had clearly been successful. Bertha was just about crying with joy.

"He has got to see this," James hiccoughed, "this his the funniest sight I've seen in my life!"

Sirius conjured a mirror with a perfect Conjuring spell, and held it up for Severus to see. If he hadn't been Petrified already, he certainly would have been by the sight that met him in the mirror: There he was, in a silly pose like some kind of modern art, but instead of robes he was wearing a skirt. A silly, flowery, little-girlish skirt.

He wasn't sure if it was embarrassment or rage, but his face was glowing. Sirius would pay for this! If he could only break free from the Petrification spell. He knew that if he could just move one muscle, just move something, any muscle, the spell would be broken.

He tried to tilt himself forwards. Please. Come on now. He was trapped inside his body. He could only see straight ahead of him, where Peter Pettigrew was rolling on the floor laughing. Was Florence in the library yet? Was she watching from behind the bookshelves?

"James? Hee, hee, James?" Peter managed to say through his fits of laughter, "Weren't you going to Vanish his clothes and see if he can Conjure them back on again?"

Oh no. Oh please. Please. Just move one muscle now. Just tilt forwards. Please. Please.

"Ach, I don't know, we've already seen it all, haven't we?"

Everybody laughed again, except Peter, who was looking disappointed.

"Bertha hasn't" he tried.

"Bertha?" James turned around and asked, "Do you feel like being sick?"

No. Come on now. Come on. Just break free. Just do it. Do it!

With a jolt, Severus fell forwards. As a reflex, he flung his arms out to break the fall. The spell was broken.

With a roar, he jumped on James' neck. Severus didn't know what he was doing anymore, nor did he care. All he knew was that he wanted to hurt James, shut him up, break his jaw, punch him like he had been punched so many times, tear him to pieces like he himself had been torn to pieces. He couldn't see, he couldn't hear what James was shouting, the library was a chaotic blur. There was something heavy on his back, somebody was holding his arms, forcing them backwards.

Suddenly he realised that it wasn't James who was shouting, it was himself. "I hate you! I can't take it anymore! Leave me alone! Just leave me alone! Leave me alone!"

There was more than one on his back now. They were forcing him down, bending his arms back. James struggled free from beneath him, and his face was pressed against the floor. He felt a wand being pointed at his back. There was a flash of blue, and he felt a sharp, stinging pain in both his arms.

Then a fist grabbed his hair, and Sirius' voice said "That will teach you." He heard four pairs of feet and the door slamming.

Then there was silence.

"Severus?"

"Severus? Can you hear me?"

Somebody was shaking him gently.

"Severus, what have they done!"

It was Florence.

Oh no. It was Florence.

Slowly the library came back into focus. Florence stood bent over him, patting him gently on the back. His wand lay on the floor a few inches away. He reached for it … but instead of an arm, he had a flipper. He turned his head and saw that his right arm was a flipper too. Florence raised her wand, and said the Transfiguration spell quietly. Instantly his arms and clothes changed back to normal again. Severus sat up. Shame and embarrassment was creeping up his neck.

"I'll not tell anybody," Florence whispered.

"Fine that, but your friend Bertha already knows! She was there, laughing with the rest!"

Florence sighed.

"Yes. She has a crush on Sirius Black."

"Oh, she does, does she?" Severus said sarcastically. He needed to get out of this situation now.

"I don't know what she sees in him," Florence continued.

"Neither do I. Unless she finds inflated heads attractive."

"Please don't go and hex her for this."

"Don't worry, the first one on my hexing list is Sirius Black."

"She's just a bit immature sometimes, you know what it's like, when you fancy someone, you can't see clearly…"

"Well, I can see clearly that your friend Bertha is an idiot."

"Severus, please… I know you're upset…"

"I'm not upset!"

"Yes, you are, but you're too proud to admit it!"

"If this is the kind of nonsense you usually come with, I'm not sure if it's worth spending time speaking with you!"

"Severus, don't be so silly…"

"Ahem."

Severus jumped. Framed in the door of the library was Minerva McGonagall.

"Mr. Snape? I believe we had an appointment for eight o'clock tonight? Do you know what time it is now?"

"No, professor," Severus muttered through gritted teeth.

"Half past eight. I say you'd better come with me right away."

Severus realised he had no choice but to come with the professor, leaving Florence behind in the library.

Professor McGongagall looked at Severus over the top of her glasses as she sat down behind her desk. She indicated for Severus to sit down on a straight backed chair that stood in front of it, which he did. He was hot and aching all over, and his head was buzzing like a swarm of bees. He rubbed the heels of his hands against his forehead. What would Florence think of him now? She would probably think he was completely useless. Weak. Unable to defend himself. He clenched his hands to fists.

"Now?" said professor McGonagall. Severus glared up at her. "Have you got something to tell me?"

Tell her – what should he tell her? She would of course want to know why he was late for his detention. The truth was he had completely forgotten about it when Florence asked him to meet her in the library. And then, of course, that thing had happened. That which he always dreaded. His neck stung again.

"What were you doing in the library?"

Doing? I was being humiliated, Severus thought. Made a fool of. In front of … her. He looked away from the professor's piercing stare. Anger was boiling inside him. He could break something right now. Scream. But he didn't.

"Well?"

"I was preparing for the Transfiguration test." By having my clothes and arms transfigured, he added, but again, this was not something he said out loud.

"Well, that's not the worst excuse I've heard in my life. But I must say I'm a bit disappointed with you, Mr. Snape. First I catch you sneaking around the castle at half past four in the morning. Then you forget about the detention that I gave you. This is not like you at all. What's gone into you, Mr. Snape?"

Should he tell her? This was his chance. He could tell her now. Tell the professor. She could expel Black and Potter. She could make his misery end. Just tell her now. A painful knot appeared around his solar plexus. It was throbbing and causing him to breathe unevenly. This was his chance to get help. Just tell her now. The knot was swelling like a balloon. It was obstructing his wind pipe. His chest was aching. Just tell her now. Just tell her. Just tell. He opened his mouth, but no sound came out.

"Severus, what's wrong?"

He couldn't bear it anymore. He sprang to his feet, crashed the door open and strode out of McGonagall's office. "Severus?" she called after him, but he kept going, almost running, away from her office, down the corridors, across the Entrance Hall, out of the front doors and into the forest, where he was embraced by the darkness.

_In the Gryffindor sixth year boys' dormitory, four heads were close together. Their owners were sitting on Sirius' bed, taking care not to speak to loudly, in case someone came by and heard them. _

_"Don't you think he's been punished enough?" Remus Lupin said._

_"Do you, of all people, Moony, think he's been punished enough already? If he'd seen you, and realised it was you, I bet he would have told all the Slytherins about it. The secret would be out then!" James said incredulously, and looked over at Sirius for his opinion ._

_"This was just the beginning, mate. I assure you, once I'm done with him, he's gonna regret that he ever tried to stick his large, ugly nose into our private business."_

_"Are you saying you're going to attack him like that and dress him in a skirt every night?" Remus protested._

_Peter sniggered._

_"No," said Sirius, with a calculating expression on his face. "That would be too boring. No, what I have in mind, is far better than that."_

_Peter drew an exited breath._

_"Let's hear it then," said James quietly._

_"Wait. Don't you see? You'll not achieve anything by going about like this. I say we tell Professor McGonagall!" Remus interrupted._

_"Oh, come on, Moony. Don't be such a spoilsport," Peter whined._

_"I'm not saying this to be a spoilsport! What I'm saying, is that I think you're about to make a huge mistake!"_

_"But we're doing it for you, mate," said James._

_"I know, but still…"_

_"Wormtail!" Sirius cut him off, "Go and get my brother."_

_"You mean Regulus?"_

_"Of course I mean Regulus, how many brothers do you think I have?"_

_"Er, just the one."_

_"Yes, so go and get him then."_

_"Okay."_

_There was a loaded silence in the dormitory until Peter Pettigrew came back, accompanied by Sirius' younger brother. A little choir of "What's he doing here" from the common room announced their coming._

_"Hi, little bro." Sirius said briskly._

_"Hi," Regulus said, looking apprehensive._

_"You know that thing we spoke about a while ago? About Snivellus?"_

_"Yeah…"_

_"Well, since you're our eyes in the Slytherin quarters, so to speak: What's he up to? Is he trying to spy on us?"_

_"Er… I don't know… I mean, yes."_

_"I knew it. See, Remus? What did I tell you? I bet he's trying to get us in trouble!"_

_Remus Lupin looked down at the floor._

_Sirius Black punched his fist into his hand. "That little slimeball! He'll regret this!"_

_"Alright," Remus said, "as long as you leave me out of it."_

_"Fine with me. I see why you were made a prefect, Moony" said Sirius sourly. "Reg! Meet up with me at lunch tomorrow, and I'll share the perfect plan with you. My best plan yet. The only drawback is that it requires some waiting before it can be put in motion. But I'll make good use of the spare time, don't worry. See you tomorrow, then, Reg." _

_He shoved Regulus out the door. _

Severus was awoken the next morning by the arrival of Hades, Lucius' eagle owl. He was freezing cold despite the Warming Charm he had put on himself in the early hours of morning, and his muscles were sore after having spent the night lying under a tree. He rubbed his face on his damp sleeves. Hades was nibbling his ankle impatiently. He struggled to untie the string that fastened Lucius' letter to the owl's leg; his fingers were stiff and shaking. He ripped the letter open.

"Dear Severus,

As a sign of our gratitude, and as a chance to prove yourself further to our Lord, you are hereby invited to a most special party, which will take place in two weeks' time. I will not tell you where and when here, in case this letter falls in the wrong hands. Instead, make sure you are alone by the fire in the common room tonight at one o'clock. Best wishes, Lucius."

Severus read the letter again. A party? In two weeks? And with "our Lord" – he thought he knew who that meant. He clutched the letter tightly between his frozen fingers, as if it was a ticket to somewhere far, far away. He would make sure he was by the fire in the common room tonight, even if it would mean yet another late night. With the prospect of speaking to Lucius, and hopefully escaping from the school to go to this mysterious party, Severus tucked the letter away in his inner pocket and started walking up the slope towards the castle.

He barely had time to stop by his dormitory to get changed before class was due to start. He pulled his damp clothes off in a hurry and roughly pulled a dry jersey, cords, socks and robes on instead. Then he ran up the stairs to the Entrance Hall. There was no time for breakfast, he would have to go directly to the classroom. It was Arithmancy first. Then Transfiguration. The bell rang as he ran up the marble staircase two steps at a time. He pushed by a group of third years in a corridor, ran around the corner, down a second corridor, and came to a halt in front of the classroom door just as Professor Vector was about to close it.

"Are you the last one, then?" she asked, and looked down the corridor in case there were more students coming. Severus nodded and quickly found his seat at the back.

The good thing about this class was that it was with the Slytherins only. He did not have to face Florence and the Ravenclaws, and nor did he have to face James Potter and his gang. Yet. Although in forty-five minutes it would be Transfiguration. They were having the test today. And Potter and Black would certainly not miss any opportunity to show off. He just hoped that their showing off wouldn't include him in any way.

Forty minutes to go. With a bang he remembered that Transfiguration would mean seeing Professor McGonagall again too. Was she angry with him after he ran off last night?

Thirty-five minutes to go. He would likely have at least two more detentions from McGonagall now. He would just have to take it. As long as it didn't clash with that mysterious party.

Thirty minutes to go. Why hadn't he told the professor? Here was perhaps his only chance to end his misery, and he hadn't taken it. But he knew he couldn't. He had known it all along. Some things were just too difficult to speak about.

Twenty-five minutes to go. He didn't want to go and complain like some little cry baby either. Boo hoo, Black and Potter tease me. As if he wasn't able to defend himself. Twenty minutes to go. That was probably what Florence was thinking now. That he was a vulnerable little teddy bear who needed her to come and rescue him all the time.

Fifteen minutes to go. He was starting to feel sick. He had no idea what Professor Vector was lecturing about.

Ten minutes to go. The numbers and variables in his Arithmancy textbook were dancing before his eyes.

Five minutes to go. Cold shivers were going down his back.

One minute to go. Ten seconds. Nine. Eight. Seven. Six. Five. Four. Three. Two. One. The bell rang. The sick feeling was at the high water mark in his throat. He had to go.

But he didn't have to wait until the next class started for the torture to begin. The Entrance Hall was swarming with students when he got there. And as soon as he showed his face, several heads turned to look at him.

There was a whole group of Hufflepuffs standing over by the hour glasses, and they were all giving him curious looks, as if he were some kind of funny animal in a zoo. It looked as if they were debating who would go and speak to him.

Severus quickly changed direction and pretended that he hadn't seen them. But before he could get out of the Entrance Hall, one of the Hufflepuff girls called out to him.

"Snivellus? Hey, Snivellus?"

He pretended not to hear, but this only resulted in more people joining the choir.

"Is it true that Sirius Black dressed you in a skirt?"

Severus sped up and headed for the Transfiguration corridor.

"I hear that he gave you flippers too. Ha, ha! Flippers! Is that true, Snivellus?"

Don't turn around.

"He got flippers? Ha, ha, ha! A seal wearing a skirt!"

His neck was stinging again. The sick feeling was still rising and ebbing in his stomach.

The corner was not far away. If he could just reach it. He walked faster, but took care not to walk so fast that it looked as if he was running away.

Cries of "Snivellus", "skirt" and "flippers" were raining over him like a shower of arrows.

He rounded the corner, and saw the door to the Transfiguration classroom ahead of him. He was caught between a rock and a hard place, squeezed like in a vice. In there were the wolves, and in there was the lioness. Behind him were the vultures, waiting to feast on the remains.

Sickness was pounding in his throat. The bell rang again, and he was swallowed up in the tidal wave of students flowing in through the classroom door.

Severus tried to find his seat without attracting Professor McGonagall's attention. Up on the front row were Black and Potter, with their wands out and their sleeves rolled up, both looking expectantly at their teacher. Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew were sitting next to them, Pettigrew looking nervous and Lupin obviously trying to comfort him. "I hope he fails his test," Severus thought savagely. He knew none of the other three would.

"Settle down, please," Professor McGonagall called out. "Books away and wands out, all of you. The test is about to start."

The test. He would need to try and concentrate. He swallowed hard. It wasn't easy to concentrate when you were about to throw up.

"You will stay here. I will go through to the classroom next door, and call you through one by one. Mr. Lupin, will you try to keep the noise level in here down for me in the mean time? Thank you. Miss Abercrombie, you come with me, please."

She left.

The noise level in the classroom promptly rose by at least twenty decibels. Some of the students were desperately trying to do some last minute practising. Others were chatting nervously or just pacing back and forth. Black and Potter were playing cards and looking as if they were trying hard to show everyone how calm they were.

Severus carefully picked up his copy of Advanced Transfiguration and used it as a screen between himself and the rest of the class. He forced himself to read the start of the chapter about Human Transfiguration, although he had read it already. After about two paragraphs, Annabelle Abercrombie came back with a broad grin on her face, and announced that Sirius Black was next. At least this would mean one of them out of the room. Hopefully he would not choose to stay in the classroom after he'd finished his test. Severus wished his surname had been earlier in the alphabet.

It took less than one minute before Sirius was back again. Unfortunately, he didn't seem to have any desire to leave. Instead, he seemed to have decided to stay there and brag.

A curious circle soon formed around him.

"Was it difficult?"

"What did she ask you to do?"

Sirius stroked his hair back. He was clearly enjoying the attention.

"It was dead easy. Could have done it in my sleep."

"What were you asked, then?"

"I just had to demonstrate the Inanimatus Conjurus spell. So I conjured a scare crow dressed up like Angelica Baker in The Raving Ravens," bragged Sirius.

Everybody laughed.

"It actually reminded me quite strongly of Snivellus, the way he was dressed up last night."

At once, everybody's heads turned to look at Severus. Several people asked "Is that true, Snape?" Severus sank further down behind his book. He wished his turn would come soon, so that he could leave. But then again, what would he do when he was alone face to face with McGonagall?

Slowly, very slowly, "S" drew nearer. Sirius finally stopped bragging and throwing out vicious hints about last night's disaster when Peter Pettigrew came back and called James Potter through. This meant Severus' turn would be next. As soon as he came through, McGonagall would ask him why he'd run away from her office, there was no doubt about it. Half a dozen excuses ran through Severus' head, one more lame than the other. What if he said … er … that he was allergic to the hazel nuts McGonagall kept in a bowl on her desk, and had to leave the room before he had a reaction to them? No, that just sounded silly. If he really was allergic, he could have just said. But what if he said … um … that he had an upset stomach? No, that would just be embarrassing.

"Snivelly! It's you next!"

Severus jumped. He wasn't ready. He had no excuse. He was going into the lion's den completely unprotected.

"What's the matter, Snivelly? Are you afraid? Don't you know how to do Conjuring yet?"

"That's none of your business, Potter!"

"Is that the only sentence you know?"

"Shut up, Potter! I'm warning you!"

"Warning me against what? What are you going to do - flap your flippers at me?"

"If you don't shut up, Potter, I am going to hex you so thoroughly that you won't remember your own name when you wake up!"

"Yeah? Learnt some new dark curses from your father over Christmas?"

"I believe I asked you to shut up, Potter!"

Severus strode out the door, while swearing inwardly. Was that really the best answer he could come up with? He longed to pipe Potter down by delivering the perfect line. An elegant, cutting remark that would cause Potter to blush and go quiet. How sweet that would be. He would have to work on that.

Still fuming, Severus entered the classroom next door. Professor McGonagall was waiting for him behind the heavy, old fashioned desk.

"Severus…" she said. Severus noticed she was using his first name. He didn't know if it was a good sign or a bad sign. And the frown around her eyes – did it mean she was angry with him, or was it some sign of concern? It was difficult to tell. She had good reason to be angry with him, after all.

Suddenly the frown disappeared, and the professor cleared her throat in a business-like manner.

"Are you ready, Mr. Snape?"

The test. McGonagall had chosen to overlook his strange behaviour the day before, at least until the test was over, for which Severus was grateful. That would at least put the inevitable off for a few more minutes. He nodded.

"Good. May I ask you, then, to demonstrate the Inanimatus Conjurus spell for me? You may conjure any object, as long as it is not a living thing."

The thing that Severus was best at conjuring, was clothes. Noticing the bitter irony of this, he set his mind upon a pair of shoes. At least shoes could not be associated in any way with skirts. Or knickers.

He grumbled the incantation with a sour expression on his face. Instantly, a shiny pair of black shoes appeared on McGonagall's desk. The professor smiled.

"Very good! Now – to receive full marks, you will also have to show me that you can conjure a specific object that I ask you for."

Severus nodded again.

"So what I'll ask you to do, is conjure a – let's see…" she looked at her notes, "…a peacock feather quill, please."

Severus was relieved she hadn't asked for any more clothes. He could do this. He just had to concentrate, and not think about Potter and Black. A quill. Just a quill. A peacock feather one. He had never owned such a fancy quill himself, he thought they looked silly. He used a raven feather quill for his homework. He had often had that raven quill out in the library. No, don't think about the library. Concentrate now. Don't think about the library. Or about Black and Potter. And don't think that you shouldn't think about Black and Potter, that only reminds you of them, he told himself angrily. Think about a peacock feather quill. A peacock feather quill only. A large, green feather with a blue eye near the top.

It worked. A beautiful, green feather was lying on the desk, perfectly sharpened in the end. A wave of relief broke over him. He had done it. Despite recent events, he had passed the test, and was likely to get a good mark too, he thought, pleased with himself.

Professor McGonagall looked at him approvingly.

"Very good indeed, Mr. Snape."

She made a note in her protocol. Breathing again, Severus turned to go. Maybe she wouldn't say anything about the detention now. He took a couple of hopeful steps towards the door, before McGonagall called him back.

"Just a moment, Mr. Snape."

Of course. She hadn't forgotten. How could he have thought that. Slowly, he turned back to face his teacher.

"There was something I wanted to speak to you about."

The sick feeling returned abruptly to his stomach, as if somebody had pressed a button.

"Why did you leave from your detention last night?"

There was something stuck in his throat. Something large and sharp that obstructed his windpipe and made it impossible to speak, as if he had swallowed a hedgehog.

"Severus …?"

The sickness suddenly welled up in him, and he had to clasp his mouth and turn away from McGonagall. He looked at the stone floor, slightly bent. With his hands over his mouth still, he wondered slightly desperately how on earth he was going to get out of this situation without embarrassing himself further. He had to blink to stop his eyes watering.

"Severus, I can see there is something wrong. But if you don't tell me what it is, there is nothing I can do."

Still with his back to her, Severus now noticed he was shivering.

"Are you not feeling well? Would you rather go up to the hospital wing?"

Here was the escape route! He could go up to the hospital wing. That would mean he wouldn't have to see anyone apart from Madam Pomfrey for the rest of the day.

Severus nodded to the floor.

"Alright, then. Go ahead. I'll write a note to Madam Pomfrey to say that I sent you."

Five minutes later, Severus was climbing the stairs, heading for the hospital wing, with a note from McGonagall clutched in his hand. When he came to the right door, he knocked on it quietly, and was met by a smiling Madam Pomfrey. He showed her the note from McGonagall, and when she had read it, she lay her hand on his forehead and insisted that he was feeling hot. Only then did he remember that he had spent the night out in the forest in January. Without protesting, he let himself be led to bed by the matron. The bed was wonderful and warm, and now he noticed how tired he was. Grateful that no more questions had been asked, he closed his eyes and listened to the wonderful silence of the hospital wing.

**Chapter nine: Severus' dreams**

_Down in the Great Hall, Regulus Black was having lunch at the Slytherin table. He kept looking over towards the door between every bite. He was expecting his brother to come in every minute. Sirius had said he would tell him about his plan at lunch today. Regulus wondered what kind of plan it was. Sirius had said it was his best plan yet, but that they'd have to wait a while before they could do it. And it had something to do with Severus Snape. Regulus wasn't sure who he supported in this conflict of theirs. As far as he was concerned, they could do whatever they liked to each other, he was getting sick of being pushed around by them both. Yet, he supposed he'd have to do whatever it was that his brother was going to ask him. He just hoped it would be the last thing._

_At that moment, Sirius came in through the door, along with James, Remus and Peter. Regulus jumped. He had been anticipating their arrival so intensely that when they finally came, it just about made him jump out of his skin. Sirius beckoned him over to the door, while the other three went and sat down at the Gryffindor table, Remus giving Sirius a worried glance as he passed him. Regulus hurried down between the tables to join his brother, who signalled to him to follow him out into the Entrance Hall._

_"Are you going to tell me about this plan of yours, then?"_

_The two brothers were now standing in a quiet corner of the Entrance Hall, Sirius very obviously trying to look innocent and casual._

_"Yes. Listen," he said in an off hand voice, "you don't do anything until next month. Then, when I tell you …"_

_"Next month?" Regulus interrupted. "Why does it have to take that long?"_

_"That's classified information, little bro. Can't tell you, sorry. You'll just have to trust me and do as I say."_

_"OK," Regulus sighed._

_"Excellent. So: When I tell you, you tell Snivellus …"_

_"Snape, you mean."_

_"Yes, him. You say to him that you've found out that Peter and I are going to have a secret meeting in some certain place. I'll find out where later. Probably an empty classroom or something. You tell him the time and place that I give you, and he'll come along and try to spy on us as usual. Then, Peter and I will stage a conversation, and bingo."_

_"What's going to happen then?"_

_"We'll have to wait and see, won't we?"_

_"But I mean, what's this staged conversation going to be about?"_

_Sirius laughed._

_"You're just little yet, aren't you, Reg. There are many things you don't know about."_

_"And you won't tell me either!" Regulus said furiously._

_"No." Sirius smiled slyly. "I won't tell you either."_

It wasn't more than a couple of minutes, if that, before Severus fell asleep. He was feeling absolutely exhausted. The last two days had sucked all the energy out of him. The last thing that went through his mind before he drifted off, was his deep desire to deliver the perfect line. If he could only show them that he wasn't there to be made a fool of. He was no toy for them to play with. Show that he wasn't afraid of them, or hurt by their taunts. That he wasn't Snivellus anymore. He was an adult now. An adult that should be respected. Next time James or Sirius tried anything, he would have the perfect line ready for them.

The scene changed, and Severus was suddenly sitting in an empty classroom, he thought. The stone walls were lit by flickering candles in two or three brass chandeliers hanging from the roof. He didn't quite recognise the room, he didn't know which classroom it was, only that he'd been there before.

Suddenly, he realised that Florence was there too. She was trying to show him something in a book, but for some reason he couldn't read it, because the letters kept changing. Her hair was hanging loosely, and fell down on the pages, gently like a little stream with water lilies growing along the banks. He wanted to touch it, but his arms wouldn't move.

She was speaking to him. He couldn't hear the words, but he knew what she was saying. It was like music.

"Yes," he answered gently. "So do I."

There was a golden rim around her hair, as if the sun was just setting behind her. He longed to touch her, to feel that golden, brown hair against his face, to touch her summer day lips gently, very gently, with his fingers, like a butterfly that comes to sit down on a Rosa Ragosa for a second or two, before it takes off again.

He reached for her, stretched his arm out, but suddenly there was an eternal distance between them. He couldn't reach her, even when his arm was stretched out as far as it would go – she was just outside the reach of his finger tips, and at the same time there was a universe between them.

It was darker now. The candles had gone out. He looked up and saw them dead and cold in the chandeliers. He looked back quickly to see Florence, but she wasn't there anymore. Though he could hear sounds from outside the window.

He crossed the cold stone floor quietly and leant his hands on the marble window sill. It was as dark outside as it was inside, only the snow reflected a white glow from the day that had been.

He could see figures moving in the snow far below the window. Three dark figures. Men, he thought. Or boys, it was difficult to tell. Or was it animals? They were flocking around something on the ground. Like animals feasting on their prey.

But the thing on the ground was alive still. It was alive! It was fighting for its life, but it didn't have much strength left. The men or animals were attacking it, they were all around it, attacking it from all sides.

He couldn't see their faces, but now he knew who they were. They were his tormentors, James Potter, Sirius Black and Peter Pettigrew.

And the thing on the ground was himself.

But it wasn't his present self. This one was younger. It was a child. Himself as he was looking down on the scene from the window, was an adult.

He could hear the child crying, and he wanted to help himself. But he knew that if the three dark figures discovered his presence, he would be their next prey. He dared not breathe. If he made the tiniest sound, they would hear him.

The more he thought about that he had to be completely silent, the more difficult it became. His eyes were fixed on the dark figures down below. His heart was racing, but he couldn't look away.

Then, as if they had sensed him looking at them, the three dark figures all turned their heads. Their eyes shone yellow in the moonlight. And their faces were not human. They were wolves.

He couldn't hold it back anymore, he wanted to scream, to run. He turned away from the window quickly. Only too late did he remember that this sudden movement would attract the wolves' attention.

He had to check. He glanced out the window again, and saw the three wolves charging towards him, running right up the wall. The fear he felt was so strong it made him throw up on the floor. This was it. They would break through the window any second, and then he would be dead, torn to pieces by their teeth.

He closed his eyes and screamed.

"Easy now, easy."

The soft outline of Madam Pomfrey slowly came into focus.

"Dear, dear. You're only dreaming."

She was standing next to his bed, with a tray in her hands.

"It's just the fever. It happens quite often. Fever gives you vivid dreams. It's nothing to worry about."

The tray was laden with plates. Some of them were steaming gently and giving off the familiar smell of tomato soup and fish.

"This came from the kitchen a minute ago. You should really try to eat something. I know food doesn't taste the same when you're ill, but you need it."

Slowly, Madam Pomfrey's words penetrated Severus' brain, and he sat up, rubbing his face. He was still feeling shaken after the nightmare. He looked at the clock on the opposite wall, and saw that it was half past one. Which meant that it was nearly nineteen hours since the last time he had had something to eat.

Madam Pomfrey placed the tray on top of his downy. Severus noticed that the crust had been removed from the white bread on one of the plates. Despite his dislike for cute things, he couldn't help but smile at this. It reminded him of what his mother used to do when his milk teeth were falling out. The knot that had been in his stomach since the day before loosened, and he picked up the bread. The non-existent taste was exactly what he needed now.

Madam Pomfrey smiled approvingly and assured him that he'd feel better soon, before she nodded again and left.

After he had finished the bread, Severus picked up his spoon and started on the soup. The dream felt more distant now, as if it had been a scary programme on the Wizarding Wireless Network that had now been switched off.

He tried to decide how he was feeling. Was he really ill? He was feeling exhausted, that much was certain. He had hardly slept for the past two nights, and on top of that … things … had happened almost continuously since he came back from his first nightly trip into the forest. It was true, too, that he had been feeling sick all day, and even dreamt that he'd thrown up, but he didn't think that had anything to do with physical illness.

Whatever it was, he was grateful that he could now spend the rest of the day, and maybe even longer, away from the rest of the school. The quietness of the hospital wing was a blessing. From where he was sitting, he couldn't see anyone else at all. And he hoped it would stay that way.

He put his tray away on the bedside table and lay down again. Listening to the silence was a wonderful feeling. With a certain pleasure he remembered that James Potter and his gang were now about to have two hours with Professor Binns in History of Magic. Hopefully today's class would be just as ridiculously boring as they usually were.

Florence would be in Charms. For some reason, he knew Florence's timetable off by heart, as well as the James Potter's and Sirius Black's.

On his own timetable was Potions. He was kind of sorry that he had to miss it – after his experience in the apothecary shop, Potions had become his second favourite subject. He enjoyed brewing the more advanced and demanding potions, the ones that required very careful handling of the ingredients, exact measurements and a precise procedure. There was something about them that allowed him to immerse himself in them completely; it was just him and the potion, and nothing else.

To have something to think about other that the last couple of days' events, Severus started going through the procedure for making a Strengthening Solution in his head. First, take two bears' teeth. Grate them to a fine powder and then add them to six pints of boiling water. Stir against the sun twelve times. Then … He'd have to write to Mr. and Mrs. Hartley soon. He hadn't written to them at all after he came back to Hogwarts. He wondered how the Lycantrophy potion was coming at. Had Mr. Hartley tried Wolfsbane in it, as he had suggested? He wished he could have stayed there and helped develop it. And work in the shop. Maybe he could do that when he eventually left school. There was only a year and a half to go. Yes, that would be nice. He'd just have to struggle through one and a half more years, and then he would hopefully return to his job in the apothecary's workshop – and never see this school again.

With this somewhat comforting thought, Severus went back to sleep. His dreams were silly and confusing this time: He had to catch a bear to get hold of its teeth for a Strengthening Solution that he was making for Mr. Hartley, who was planning to go out and kill a dragon, which was holding his friend Gerald Favel captive in his workshop. But Severus tried to remind Mr. Hartley that it wasn't really a dragon, but a wolf, and that he would have to use Wolfsbane, not bear's teeth. But all the time, Lucius Malfoy kept interrupting him, and saying that there was something he had forgotten to do, except he wouldn't tell him what it was. Meanwhile Hades, Lucius' owl, also kept flapping about his ears, so he could hardly concentrate on what he was trying to tell Mr. Hartley. Lucius was now wearing a silly party hat, and singing "We wish you a merry Christmas and a happy birthday to you" in a high, shrilly voice.

At dawn, Severus woke up with a start. The party! The mysterious party that Lucius had written to him about! He was supposed to speak to him in the fire at one o'clock!

He quickly looked up at the clock, and saw that it was eight in the morning. Dan it, he'd missed it. Lucius wouldn't be happy about this. Would he still be invited to the party? He hoped so.

While he was busy worrying about this, Madam Pomfrey came in with a breakfast tray.

"Good morning! Are you feeling better today? You have been asleep for eighteen hours. You must have been exhausted. Here you go!"

She put the breakfast tray down on the bedside table and reached for something in the pocket of her apron.

"This came for you with the morning owls."

She held out a small roll of parchment.

Severus waited until Madam Pomfrey had left before he opened it. As he had thought, it was a letter from Lucius, asking him why he'd failed to show up in the fire, and telling him to come tonight instead. Severus wondered why he couldn't just tell him by owl, but of course, there was a war going on, even if one didn't hear too much about it at Hogwarts, and this was no doubt an illegal party.

Severus took out his raven feather quill and dipped it in ink, but couldn't make up his mind on what to write. On the one hand, he wanted to extend his stay in the hospital wing as long as possible. But on the other hand, he wanted to speak to Lucius and hear about this party too. Finally, he decided that he'd tell Madam Pomfrey that he was feeling well enough to leave the hospital wing later in the afternoon. Luckily, it was Friday, so if he could just miss his classes today, he would be able to lay low in the Slytherin quarters for the rest of the weekend.

So when Madam Pomfrey came back a few minutes later with a basin full of hot water for him to get washed in, he told her that he was indeed feeling much better now that he had slept.

It was very late before the Common Room was empty. Severus had been careful to occupy the seat nearest to the fire early on in the evening, and he wasn't exactly troubled with folk wanting to sit next to him. He had brought a whole stack of books with him, and by the end of the night he had not only caught up with all the classes that he'd missed, but also finished the weekend's homework. At last, Lucius' head appeared in the fire.

"There you are. What happened last night?"

"I was ill," Severus admitted, feeling slightly embarrassed.

"Ill?"

"Nothing serious."

"Been bitten by a dangerous creature from the forest?" Lucius teased him.

"Something like that."

"Right. Well, you know that – party – that I wrote to you about?" He whispered the word "party".

"Yes?"

"This is what you've got to do: You know that big, ornate mirror on the fourth floor, at the end of the corridor to the left of the Defence Against the Dark Arts classroom?"

"Yes. It's enchanted."

"Exactly. Do you know how to work it?"

"I'm not quite sure. I have never tried it."

"The glass in it is actually water. So you just go straight through it. Behind it is a tunnel, which will lead you to a certain house in Hogsmeade. Don't worry, I've spoken to the owner. She's on our side, and she's expecting you."

Severus noted Lucius' use of the words "our side".

"I see," he said. "What time will I be there?"

"Friday the 31st, around half past five. It's a dinner party. Wear your dress robes."

So he was going to a dinner party with adult members of "our side".

The week and a half leading up to Friday the 31st went painfully slowly. Even more that before, the school now resembled a minefield, scattered with people that he did not want to run into.

Florence was one of them. Severus hadn't seen her at all after – after that evening in the library. All through Monday's Defence Against the Dark Arts class, he could feel her looking sideways at him across the classroom. He was sure that she wanted to speak about what had happened – something which he was not prepared to do. And there was this strange dream too. It had had Florence in it, before it had changed into a nightmare. He wasn't sure what the dream had meant, but it made him feel oddly shy towards the girl, as if he had told her something too personal and now regretted it. So he carefully avoided meeting her eyes, and left the room in a hurry as soon as the bell rang.

There were other people he wanted to avoid as well. Twice a week he had Transfiguration with the Gryffindors. He hadn't come up with any good taunts to use on Potter and his gang yet, and was therefore strongly tempted to fail to show up for this week's Transfiguration classes, unless he could come up with something soon.

So on Tuesday evening, Severus found himself in front of that enchanted mirror on the fourth floor, rehearsing taunts. He would have to find Potter's, Black's and Pettigrew's weakest spots, and use them for all they were worth.

Peter Pettigrew would be easy to insult, Severus thought. It was commonly known that his academic achievements were lamentable, and the only reason he ever got into NEWT level was that Black, Potter and Lupin always helped him with his homework.

Severus looked left and right, checking that nobody else was in the corridor. He then looked at himself in the mirror, pretending his reflection was Peter Pettigrew.

"Petty boy," he whispered, "I didn't think I would see you again last autumn. How much are you paying Black and Potter in private tuition fees this year?"

Ah, that was a good one. Severus gave himself a bittersweet smile in the mirror. One down, two to go.

For Sirius Black … he could always insult his family, somehow. Point out how the Black family had gone downhill since Sirius had come about. But how to word it?

"Are you sure you are a Black?" he said to the mirror. But no, that sounded like he was trying to honour the rest of Sirius' family, which he hadn't intended to do. He cleared his throat and tried again.

"The House of Black surely has become blacker than it ever was after you started dirtying its reputation."

No, that didn't sound quite right either. He needed something more elegant, more sophisticated.

Severus decided to leave Sirius Black for a while, and think up something for James Potter instead. He would come back to Black later on.

James Potter … he could of course use the fact that Potter was having a crush on Lily Evans; that was also common knowledge. But on the other hand, he didn't want to risk Potter finding out about Florence, and using her against him.

But what was he thinking – he did not have a crush on Florence, surely not. No. But still, he didn't want to risk getting her involved, so he had better come up with something else for Potter.

Frustrated with his own inability to come up with a suitable taunt, he gave himself a furious stare in the mirror. How he wished it was Saturday. He longed to escape from this place, if only for a few hours. They would all be adults at the party, he presumed. Adults who would speak civilly to one another, and show each other respect. There would be interesting topics of conversation, not just all this silly school stuff. His future lay behind this mirror. Soon he would step into it.

When Saturday finally came, Severus again stood in front of the enchanted mirror on the fourth floor, but this time he was dressed in his black and dark blue dress robes. He hadn't yet had a chance to use his well rehearsed insult on Pettigrew; he was waiting for the right moment. Potter and his gang had seemed strangely quiet and secretive all week, as if they were up to something illegal. Which, of course, he had suspected them of all along. And he would find out what it was, he would make sure of that.

Severus smoothed his hair out one more time. He had washed it in the strongest hair cleaning potion he could find, so now it was not quite as greasy as usual. He looked at his watch: Ten past five. It was time.

With a feeling that he was about to enter a different world, Severus took a deep breath and stepped into the mirror.

It felt like diving into a cool freshwater lake on a warm summer's eve. Except when he emerged on the other side, he was still dry. The air around him was dark and velvety, and very quiet. As his eyes got used to the dark, he could just make out his own reflection in the back of the mirror, which now looked like glass again. The back of the mirror was identical to the front, except where the front was gold, this side was made of ebony.

"Good bye," Severus mouthed silently to his reflection, before he turned around and faced the dark corridor beyond.

Severus could hear his own footsteps echo as he half walked, half ran along the corridor. Lucius had called it a tunnel, but it looked very purposefully built. It was dressed in grey granite, had a flagstone floor, and here and there stood a stone gargoyle, which he was pretty sure had once held a torch. The corridor led downwards, and several times he climbed down steep stairs. Twice he encountered other corridors that crossed the one he was in, though he was not tempted to see where they led. Instead he carried on in the direction of Hogsmeade, while the corridor changed into a rougher tunnel, and started climbing upwards again. After what felt like around half an hour, he saw light in front of him.

The light, he soon discovered, was coming from what looked like a door frame high up on the wall. And unlike the ancient aura of the rest of the secret passageway, the ladder that led up to the door looked quite new. Careful not to stand on his robes, Severus climbed up, and pushed the door open.

"Welcome. You found your way, I see."

Dazzled by the light of the room beyond, Severus couldn't quite make out the face of the person who had spoken. It was the voice of a young lady, though no one that he remembered from school.

He closed the door carefully behind him, and now he noticed that it blended in perfectly with the busy, pink flower pattern of the wallpaper, so that it was virtually invisible.

Then he thought he had better say something, so he said "I'm Severus Snape."

"Yes," the young lady said, "I was expecting you."

She was wearing the most peculiar, but splendid outfit. Her dress was made of several layers of the finest material. The outer layer was the purest white, but underneath it other layers of orange and red were visible. But the strangest thing of all was that she was wearing a mask. It had a pattern of brown, red and orange colours that blended beautifully into one another, and it was in the shape of a butterfly.

"And who …" He stopped himself when he heard how rude he sounded.

"…am I? You may call me Tiger Moth."

"Tiger Moth," Severus repeated, slightly dumbstruck.

"We'd better get the mask on you too, before we go."

She picked up something from one of the numerous small tables that the room was cluttered with. In fact, the room looked like a café more than anything, for each table had a frilly tablecloth and a little candle.

Tiger Moth handed Severus the mask. It was black and shiny, in the shape of a cat's head.

She smiled at him underneath the butterfly wings.

"Tonight you will be known as Black Panther."

A few minutes later, Severus stepped out of a magnificent, marble fireplace. Tiger Moth was already Scourgifying the soot off her, and Severus did the same thing. It looked like they were in the parlour of a grand mansion.

There were two other couples there, who looked like they had just arrived too. They were all wearing different animal masks: A badger, an antelope, a bear, and a swan. And all were looking at him curiously. Severus wondered if he should say something, but Tiger Moth merely nodded ceremonially to them one by one. This greeting was then returned, in a manner that suggested that he and Tiger Moth were a couple. After this, a servant came in and announced that they may proceed to the great hall, which almost made Severus jump, because nobody else had spoken since he arrived.

The servant indicated for them to follow him through the entrance hall and queue up in front of a pair of tall mahogany doors. Other people were already going through the doors, and as each couple went through, a servant announced their names and titles:

"The Chevalier Gawain and Lady Elissa!"

"Arctic Fox and Sky Lark!"

"Sir Tristan and Lady Iseult!"

"Mountain Bear and Silent Swan!"

"Black Panther and Tiger Moth!"

The size and beauty of the hall within even rivalled that of Hogwarts' Great Hall. The ceiling was painted with scenes from tales of great deeds by the ancient wizards. The central panel showed the wizard king Arthur and his knights holding council at the round table. The next panel showed Salazar Slytherin, holding a book and a wand. Opposite was a section where the background was darker, and as he came closer, he saw that these panels showed Jesus healing Muggles and further along Nicolaus with his sledge, conjuring food and presents for poor Muggle children.

The hall was full of people. Most were standing in groups of four or six, engaged in composed conversation, while a dozen house elves were busy serving drinks from silver trays.

The most striking feature, though, was that almost everything in the room apart from the roof was white. Like Tiger Moth, many had chosen white as a prominent colour for their costumes. The walls were white marble, decorated with statues in tall niches. Down the length of the room ran a long table, covered with a white tablecloth. It was set with white plates and silver cutlery for at least two hundred guests, and decorated with snowdrops in white vases. On the table, in the niches, from chandeliers, from all corners of the room, white candles shone.

In among all the whiteness, Severus now spotted a man approaching him, who was also dressed in a white costume, with a white fox mask. Severus recognised him as the one in the queue who had been presented as Arctic Fox.

Arctic Fox held his hand out.

"Welcome," Lucius Malfoy's voice said from behind the mask. "Welcome to our side, and to the most important party of your life."

Severus was slightly lost for words again. He stared at Lucius through the eyes of his mask.

"Arctic Fox?"

"Yes. Pleased to meet you, Black Panther," Lucius laughed, and offered him one of the two glasses of white wine that he was holding. "I got my name from the Dark Lord himself. But tonight, of course, I will get a new one."

Lucius smiled in a smug and secretive manner. Severus knew he was dying for him to ask him why he would get a new name tonight, although he didn't really need to – he already suspected what it was.

"Say it, then."

"Tonight I am going to be inducted into the Dark Lord's inner circle."

"Congratulations," Severus said dryly.

"From then on, I will be a Sir. And in a few years, of course, I will be a Chevalier or a Knight." Lucius put on an important face.

"Is that so."

"You will too, one day. You must just have some patience, and continue to prove yourself as you have already done. Yes, the Lord is pleased with you. Clever – placing yourself as a spy amongst the enemy."

Severus couldn't remember ever having placed himself as a spy amongst the enemy, nor was he sure precisely what enemy Lucius was talking about.

"I wonder what that blood traitor, that Muggle loving apothecary will do now that we have taken out one of his main information sources. You did know that Magnus Hartley was in the illegal resistance during the Grindelwald war as well?"

A rush of blood went through Severus' veins.

"Of course."

Lucius nodded appreciatively.

"I thought you did. That, my friend, is what makes the difference between a simple follower and a Knight. You had some information. You could have chosen to remain silent, or you could have chosen to let others do the work for you. But instead you showed initiative. You wanted to prove yourself. You chose to use that information in a way that would serve a greater cause, to the best of wizardkind. I am proud of you, and so is the Lord. Now, tell me – while you were there, was the blood traitor Hartley in contact with his Muggle loving friend Gerald Favel?"

Severus couldn't believe what he was hearing. Lucius thought he had gone to stay with the Hartleys deliberately, in order to spy on them! If he knew he had only ended up there because he had run away from home … he'd rather not think about it. This was certainly not the time to confess it, in any case. It would have to wait until the party was over. Then he could perhaps inform Lucius at the next opportunity.

"I believe they had not been in contact for a while before he sent me there," Severus answered, after having weighed every word. "He claimed not to have seen him for ages, and asked me how he was doing."

Lucius laughed.

"He asked you how he was doing, eh? He should see him now. Very amusing indeed. What else did he ask you?"

"Not much."

"Why were you sent to see Favel? Did he ask you to carry a message?"

"He wanted me to buy an electric battery from him."

"A battery, eh? That's a thing that Muggles use as a substitute for magic, isn't it? How large is it?"

"About this large." Severus showed him the size of the car battery with his hands.

"It could easily have contained a hidden message. What did he do with the battery then?"

"He connected it to a potion with two copper wires."

Lucius looked surprised.

"He did, did he? Well, that could have been to destroy the evidence. You didn't see him examining the battery first?"

Severus thought about this for a second. Suppose what Lucius said made sense? Gerald Favel had acted rather creepy, after all. As if he knew too much, somehow. He could have been up to something. But Mr. Hartley … ?

"He left the battery in his shed for an hour and a half. He could have examined it then."

"Just as I thought. Just as I thought."

Lucius took a drink out of his wine glass.

"And … how did Favel act, when you visited his garage?"

Severus recalled the uncomfortable feeling he had had in Gerald Favel's shop. How it had felt like Favel was reading his mind.

"He … bragged about how he uses Magic to repair Muggle vehicles. Clearly a breach of wizarding laws, if you ask me."

Lucius nodded again.

"Indeed. Indeed. People like that are a danger to wizardkind. It's better to deal with them before they go ahead and expose us to the whole Muggle community."

He finished his drink.

"But that's entertainment for later. Shall we take a seat?"

People were now finding their places along the dinner table. Lucius quickly led the way to a place near the middle, where Tiger Moth and Sky Lark were already waiting. After a couple of minutes, during which Lucius made polite conversation with both ladies, a number of house elves entered in single file, carrying silver serving dishes.

"Ladies and Gentlemen," said a man with a unicorn mask, who was standing at the top end of the table, next to an empty throne. "Welcome to this very special evening. We are here today to celebrate the greatest wizard the world has ever known. He was born on this day, and thanks to his achievements, wizardkind shall never die."

Applause erupted down the table.

"Every pure-blooded wizard who chooses to follow the path of Our Lord shall have eternal life!"

More people joined in the cheering, which was getting ecstatic.

"You shall live in a world purged of those who once despised us, those who persecuted us, those who let witches and wizards burn on their bonfires! The wizarding race shall be pure, freed from traitors, freed from the half-bloods who threaten to extinguish our way of life!"

"Never again shall we be humiliated! Never again shall we be betrayed by those unloyal to wizardkind!"

He indicated the roof paintings at the opposite end of the hall. A roar of applause followed.

"Today is Candlemas. Our forefathers celebrated this day as a day of purity. The white candles symbolise how the forces of purity are gaining strength. Today is the day when the sickly and weak shall die, and only the strong and pure shall proceed onto a better life."

"Behold!"

Precisely co-ordinated, the two dozen house elves removed the silver lids of the salvers.

"The first lamb of the season. Let us all appreciate this meal, for like the lamb, so will also wizardkind be untainted. But first let us welcome – the greatest, the purest, the strongest of us all: Our Lord."

The cheering that followed almost lifted the roof. Severus was clapping so hard that his hands were getting sore. His heart was racing. This was unlike anything he had ever experienced before. He looked at Lucius, who was glowing. Then he looked at Tiger Moth, who appeared to be crying happy tears beneath her mask. A surge of happiness went through him. This could be the start of something great.

Suddenly, and without a sound, a tall, thin figure Apparated onto the throne. Everybody fell silent immediately. The tall man looked down at them with a satisfied expression. As the only one, this man was not wearing a mask. But his face looked like a snake.

As the meal proceeded, Lucius was starting to look more and more nervous. He kept shifting in his chair, and giving exited glances towards the top end of the table. Finally, after the dessert, the tall man with the snake-like face stood up. The party fell silent immediately.

"Ladies and gentlemen. My most faithful Sirs, Knights and Chevaliers. It is a great pleasure for me to see so many gathered here today, who are dedicated to our cause. I wish to thank you. In particular, I wish to thank those of you who have proved yourselves to be faithful in your service and tireless in your efforts to further our cause."

He performed a hand gesture which suggested applause.

"May I call forward: Arctic Fox!"

Lucius gave Severus an exited look, before he got up, and made his way up to the throne with everybody's eyes on him. He seemed to enjoy himself immensely.

At the top of the hall, he knelt before the throne.

The lord unsheathed a long, black shimmering sword, and rested the tip on the floor in front of him. Then he addressed Lucius:

"Do you, Artic Fox, promise before your Lord and these witnesses, to work for the purification of the wizarding race, to seek to weed out traitors to our kind, and to serve Lord Voldemort, for as long as you shall live?"

"I do."

"Inasmuch as you, Arctic Fox, have in the presence of your lord and these witnesses consented to be joined in the magical bonds of our brotherhood, and thereto have given and pledged your troth to your lord, I now pronounce you a Sir."

He lifted his sword, and touched both of Lucius' shoulders lightly.

"Your name will from now on be Sir Lot."

Lucius bowed his head.

"Sir Lot, you may give me your arm."

Lucius rolled up his left sleeve and held his arm up in front of him. The lord put his sword away, and took his wand out instead, which he placed upon Lucius' arm.

"Morsmordere maculo!"

Severus heard a sharp intake of breath from Lucius.

"Sir Lot, welcome to the Death Eaters. You may rise."

"Ai, don't touch it!"

"Sorry"

Sky Lark, who Severus by now knew was Narcissa Black, quickly withdrew her hand from Lucius' forearm, and took his other hand instead.

The three of them, along with Tiger Moth, were walking down a path in the enchanted garden which belonged to the manor. Thousands of snowdrops were flowering in picturesque borders, peeping out from the patches of snow. Above, the half moon was shining down on a duck pond, where a fountain in the middle had frozen into a natural ice sculpture.

Severus looked at the mark that Lucius was showing beneath his rolled-up sleeve. It was deep red where his skin had been burnt.

"So what does this mean, exactly?"

"I am afraid I'm not allowed to tell. The Dark Lord trusts me to keep his secrets. What goes on between him and his most trusted companions, remains between us. But I can tell you, some of it will be dangerous. Those who receive the Mark are the chosen, the most trusted, hand-picked for our loyalty, our devotedness, our ability, and our courage. Yes, it will be dangerous, but also highly rewarded."

Severus noticed that Narcissa was looking admiringly up at Lucius, while holding on to his arm with both hands. On his other side, Tiger Moth was looking dreamy and excited.

They had stopped under a tall window, where icicles were hanging from the windowsill. The window was open, and Severus could hear laughter and cheering coming from inside.

"Lucius, my Sir Lot," Narcissa said. "I am so proud of you!"

"My Sky Lark," Lucius said, and took both her hands in his. "I have said it before, but I have to say it again: You look stunning tonight!"

"Oh, Lucius!"

To save himself watching them kissing, Severus turned his attention to the window. A large crowd was gathered inside. They were clearly excited over something. Then one or two heads turned, and suddenly everyone was looking at the door at the far side of the room.. Soon they had all lined up in two rows, and everybody was clapping and cheering.

"They are waiting for the arrival of the Fool King," Tiger Moth explained. "He's a prisoner of war, a traitor to wizardkind, but he will be properly neutralised."

The doors opened, and through the crowd Severus could just make out a figure dressed up as a jester, with a crown on its head.

The crowd cheered as the Fool King was carried down between the rows. Several people bowed over-dramatically.

Severus turned at looked at the garden again.

"So this is your first time, is it?" Tiger Moth suddenly asked him.

"Yes," Severus said.

"How do you like it?"

"It's okay."

"This garden is beautiful, isn't it."

"Yes."

"It's almost more beautiful in the winter than in the summer. The snow makes everything look so pure."

"It is peaceful out here."

"Yes, it's nice to have a break sometimes. I can almost hear the frost out here. Have you known Lucius, I mean Sir Lot, for a long time?"

"A few years, yes."

"I'm glad he chose to bring you along."

Severus looked at her butterfly mask. He didn't know the girl hidden under it. He had come here with her, eaten with her, and walked in the garden with her, but he didn't know who she was.

But he knew who he wished her to be. He wished she was Florence.

Severus woke up the next morning and saw abruptly that he was back in prison. He stared up at the canopy of his four poster bed. The calm feeling from the night before was slowly ebbing away. It had been so beautiful. Had it all been a dream?

Careful not to wake up the other occupants of his dormitory, Severus stepped out of bed and knelt on the floor. Under his bed was the dark bundle of cloth that he was looking for. He quickly pulled it out and unwrapped it: There, inside his dress robes, was the black panther mask. So it had not been a dream after all.

A warm feeling was spreading through his body. It hadn't been a dream. He had really been to the strange, but beautiful party. Facing him were four more months of imprisonment in hell, and then another year after that, but now he knew there was an escape. There was a way out. There was a place where he could start a new life. A place where snowdrops were flowering in an enchanted garden. A place where nobody knew that he was Snivellus.

**Chapter eleven: The greenhouses**

The following week's Defence Against the Dark Arts lesson was cancelled for some unknown reason. Some said Professor Merriman was ill. Others said he was away because somebody in his family had died.

In any case, this would mean that he wouldn't see Florence in class this week, Severus thought, after he had read the cancellation notice on the noticeboard in the common room. He wasn't sure whether he was relieved or disappointed about this. On the one hand, he had been trying to avoid her lately, after that embarrassing incident in the library. On the other hand, he had caught himself thinking about her more and more often over the last few weeks. At mealtimes, he would always sit at the same side of the table, so that he could see the Ravenclaw table. More than once, he had caught himself hoping to bump into her in the corridors between classes. Defence Against the Dark Arts was usually a class that he looked forward to all week.

He knew Valentine's Day was coming up. Not that he usually cared about that kind of thing. He actually found Valentine's Day rather silly. But now he couldn't stop thinking about it. He tried to banish Valentine's Day from his mind, but the more he kept trying to forget about it, the more often he thought about it.

Severus wondered whether Florence would receive any Valentine's cards. There was probably a whole bunch of spoiled Ravenclaw boys who fancied her. She would receive loads of cards. Loads and loads. And none of them would be from him, and then she would never know that he … Enough of that.

Severus himself had never received any Valentine's cards. Except one, in third year, which had been sent to mock him. It had read: "Roses are red, violets are blue, my socks stink and so do you. Did you really think anyone would send you a Valentine?" Severus reckoned that one didn't count.

But what if he sent Florence a Valentine's card? Would she like it? Or would she find it terribly embarrassing to receive one from him? Would she have to hide it somewhere, so that nobody would see it? Or would she perhaps Vanish it as soon as she saw who it was from? That would of course be the most sensible thing to do. He knew that being friends with him was reason enough to be teased, yet alone receiving a Valentine's card from him.

Did she even like him at all? He didn't dare to believe it. She must be insane if she did. As far as he could remember, nobody had ever liked him. At least, not like that.

But since the mysterious party, Severus had been filled with a strange, new feeling. It was a feeling that despite all common sense, there was a place for him, somewhere, out there. So maybe – maybe – this idea about sending Florence a Valentine's card wasn't so far fetched after all?

Late on Monday night, well after the time when everybody should be back in their common rooms, Severus found himself in the owlery. He was sitting in the windowsill, looking down on the silent grounds, under the enormous shadow of the castle. It was quiet. Most of the owls had already left for the night, apart from an old barn owl and two short eared owls, who were about to wake up slowly.

Severus had been debating with himself all week whether he should send a Valentine's card to Florence or not. He had tried to make one, well, several, but they had all turned out to be very silly looking. Whatever he wrote, it just sounded stupid. So he had come up here thinking that he would order one from Flourish and Blotts, but now he had changed his mind again. These bought cards were far too cheesy.

Instead, he was sitting on the windowsill, sometimes looking down, sometimes looking at the sky, and enjoying the quiet night. He had sat like this many times before. The owlery was one of his retreats. Sometimes in the past, when he had sat here, looking down, he had wondered what would happen if he jumped. It was far to the ground. What would it feel like?

But he wasn't thinking like that today. He looked at the stars in the sky, the nearly full moon and the hills on the horizon, and it occurred to him how small everything was. Here was the castle. Down there was the lake and the gamekeeper's hut. But these were just grains of sand in an endless universe. On the scale of things, nothing really mattered. It made no difference whether he, Severus, existed or not. A Valentine's card – that was as unimportant as the ripples on the surface of the lake.

He was reminded of a poem that he had once heard:

But pleasures are like poppies spread:

You seize the flower, its bloom is shed;

Or like the snow falls in the river

A moment white – then melts for ever;

Or like the Borealis race,

That flit ere you can point their place;

Or like the rainbow's lovely form

Evanishing amid the storm

Maybe he could write something along those lines on the Valentine's card to Florence?

Severus was suddenly interrupted in his thoughts when he saw something moving on the ground. It was four little figures, who seemed to be heading for the forest.

With an icy jolt in his stomach, he recognised them as James Potter, Sirius Black, Peter Pettigrew and Remus Lupin. Out to do some mischief, no doubt.

Severus' heart was hammering. The boys had suddenly stopped. He could faintly hear them speaking, but he was to far away to make out what they were saying.

An idea struck him, and he quietly performed the Teleaudium charm on himself. Now he could hear their voices clearly.

"… thought we could explore the hills to the east of the village this time," he heard James Potter saying quietly. "I've heard that there's a smuggler's cave up there, where they used to hide whisky and illegal stills."

So you've got something to hide, Severus thought, as Peter Pettigrew squealed and jumped up and down.

"Cool," said Sirius Black. But he wasn't really paying attention. He was slowly walking away from the others, towards the Whomping Willow.

Remus Lupin didn't seem to be paying attention either. He was looking up at the nearly full moon over the castle. Afraid that he might see him, Severus sat completely still in the window.

When Lupin finally turned away, and Severus dared look down again, he saw that Potter had pulled Black aside. They were now whispering together, and Severus could only hear snippets of what they were saying.

"… still planning to …" Potter whispered.

" … problem with that?" Black replied, slightly annoyed.

"But the consequences …"

" … deserves it."

"I'm not worried about him. I'm worried about us!"

" …"

" … expelled from Hogwarts, or maybe … Azkaban"

"That's exactly the reason why I'm going ahead with it! … sneaking around … Dumbledore …"

"Okay then, if you're sure."

"Since when were you such a sissy?"

"I said alright!"

Black walked off. Soon afterwards, the three others followed him, and they all disappeared behind the gamekeeper's cabin. Severus was waiting for them to reappear on the other side, but there was no sign of them. He waited for several minutes, but he could neither see nor hear them.

After several more minutes, Severus decided that they must have disappeared in the forest behind the hut. He took the Teleaudium charm off himself and carefully slid down from the windowsill.

The barn owl had now woken up, and was hooting. This reminded him of something: Hadn't it been a full moon last time, when Regulus had tipped him off that Potter's gang was up to something fishy? And the time before that, when he had thought he'd heard them in the Entrance Hall – that had been on the full moon too. He remembered it because it had been his birthday. Was there a pattern in this?

As he sneaked into his bed, Severus made a mental note to try to follow Black and Potter if they went anywhere on the day after tomorrow. This time he would catch them and get them expelled for sure.

When Severus woke up the next morning, he was actually looking forward to getting up and going to class. Not because people would likely be any nicer than usual, but because today was the day when he had Defence Against the Dark Arts with Florence.

Three hours later, he was standing outside the Defence classroom, waiting for the teacher, and Florence, to appear. He saw her coming way down at the other end of the corridor, and watched her for over a minute before she was near enough to speak to.

But when she was level with him, he didn't know what to say.

Florence looked at him, and their eyes met briefly, before they both looked away.

They were standing awkwardly next to one another, neither wanting to look directly at the other, and neither wanting to speak first. There were several others from their class there too, so they had to watch what they were saying in any case.

"Hi," Florence said, finally.

"Hi," Severus answered jerkily.

"It's been busy lately, hasn't it?"

Florence really knows how to conduct herself, Severus thought. He was relieved and quite impressed. She could have said "what's wrong, I haven't seen you for weeks, have you been avoiding me?", but as the only person in this school, Florence was sensible enough not to blurt out such a revealing statement, but instead manage to put it in a way that didn't sound suspicious.

"Quite busy, yes," he said. "You know, revision."

"Speaking to the Dark Arts geek, Florence?" somebody shouted across the corridor. "Careful, it might be contagious!" He laughed, but Florence ignored it, and Severus followed her example.

"I'm glad Professor Merriman is back. I heard his brother was killed," Florence said, determined not to look at the boy who had shouted.

This was news to Severus. It made his heart sting.

"Killed?"

"Didn't you know? His brother was an Auror. They say he was tracking down some Dark wizards who kidnapped somebody in London."

"Where did you hear this?"

"Lydia told me. She said she'd heard it from her cousin, who is married to Professor Merriman's niece."

At that moment, Professor Merriman himself appeared, which put an end to Severus' and Florence's conversation. They followed the stream of students into the classroom.

But before they parted to take their seats at opposite ends of the classroom, Florence discreetly handed Severus a little note.

He read it secretly under the table: "Meet me tomorrow after dinner behind greenhouse 2."

Severus woke up with a start the next morning, with one thought in his head: "It's today". He had set his alarm clock half an hour early to have time for a shower before breakfast, but there was no need for it, because it was only six o'clock yet, and he was too excited to get back to sleep.

Instead he decided to get up. He went into the bathroom, and was glad to find it empty. Now he had plenty time to get ready.

He had a long shower. Afterwards, he stood in front of the mirror, combing his hair. He quite liked his hair, apart from the fact that it got greasy so easily. He liked the black colour. And the length was okay too.

Back in the dormitory, he put on clean clothes and the new set of school robes that he had been given last August.

When he left the dormitory, he had done all he could do to look his very best. He had a feeling this was going to be a good day.

_"It's today."_

_"I know."_

_Regulus looked at his brother. His face had a peculiar expression: Full of hatred and excitedness at the same time._

_"Do I have to do it?"_

_"Why do you ask that? Are you scared of such a pathetic fool?"_

_"No, but …"_

_"Yes?"_

_"I just … I thought …"_

_"Oh, come on, Reg, don't be such a baby. He deserves it! Anyway, we're only going to scare him a bit. It'll teach him a lesson."_

_"Okay, okay."_

_"Wait outside the Gryffindor common room just before it gets dark tonight. I'll tell you what to do then."_

After dinner, Severus set his course for greenhouse two. He had to admit to himself that he was rather nervous. All through dinner, Florence and he had sent each other secret looks across the hall – it was embarrassing, but exciting. She had left early, and as soon as she was out of sight, he had run back to the dormitory to give his hair a quick combing again before he went out.

Now he saw the soft glow of the greenhouses at the other side of the vegetable patches, coming slowly towards him as he went. He was walking quite fast, but at the same time trying hard to walk slowly, so that it wouldn't look too obvious that he was going somewhere important. He was nearly there now.

He was relieved to notice that the greenhouse was so overgrown that it was hard to see through to the other side.

He peered around the corner.

There was Florence! She was sitting on the ground, on an old, woolly blanket.

Severus' heart made a leap. She was so beautiful. Even more so today than he had ever seen her before. She was dressed in her winter cloak. Her cheeks were a soft pink, and he could see the warm breath coming from her mouth.

"You came!" she said, smiling.

She indicated for him to sit down, which he did. They sat and looked at each other for a while.

"I … I have been thinking about you a lot," she said, blushing.

Severus could hardly believe what he was hearing. His stomach was suddenly filled with hundreds of little bubbles.

"Have you really?"

"Yes, I have. Really." She laughed.

"I have thought about you too." Was it really him who was saying this?

"Have you?"

"Yes."

They were sitting quite close now. Their breath was forming little clouds between them.

It's now or never, Severus thought. This was his chance. This was what he had been hoping and waiting for. If he could just tell her how he felt about her.

It was light still, but soon it would be getting dark. The February wind was rustling the naked trees.

Without warning, she laid her hand above his knee. Even through his thick winter cloak, he could feel the heat of her hand. It was quite like the electric charge that had gone through him in Mr. Hartley's laboratory, except this time it felt wonderful.

"Are you okay?" she said.

"I couldn't be more okay," he said, feeling himself blush.

He drew a quick breath.

"Florence," he said, "I really, really like you."

She smiled.

"I … I don't know how to …" he continued, but the words seemed to get stuck somewhere between his throat and his lips.

She leaned forward and stroked his hair. It tickled strangely. Her eyes were warm and brown.

He didn't know how it happened. If it was her or him that did it. Neither did he know how long it lasted. It felt like an eternity. He had never felt such a thing before. It was warm, soft and wonderful, as if they had found a little summer which had been hiding in the winter dusk.

"I have never kissed anyone before," he said.

"How did it feel?" she asked.

"Wonderful."

She smiled again. Then she suddenly looked away.

"What was that?" she whispered.

"What?"

"I thought I heard something."

"I can't hear anything."

"It was probably nothing. I'm just a bit nervous."

"That's alright."

They sat and looked at each other for a while again. Her hand was still on this thigh.

"What's been going on these last few weeks?" she suddenly asked. "I haven't seen you for ages."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry. I just wanted to know if you're alright."

Severus didn't say anything. He couldn't possibly tell her about everything that had happened since he had spoken to her last.

"I know what it's like," she said. "I know, because I've been there too. When I went to primary school."

Suddenly Severus understood what she was meaning. He felt his hands starting to tremble. He thought, I'm shaking, this is silly, but he found that he was unable to control it.

"You can speak to me if you want."

It was like a dam had burst inside him. His whole body was trembling, as all those words that he had not spoken before, that he had kept from Professor McGonagall, Madam Pomfrey and everyone, started running out of him like a river.

"I hate this place! It's like torture! From the day I set foot here, each new day has been worse than the previous. There is never a break. Every morning I wake up thinking today is going to be as bad as yesterday or worse. I wake up wondering what new cruelty there is in store for me today. And usually there is something. Some new attack, some trap or some humiliation. People laugh at me, behind my back or at my face. Their stares follow me wherever I go. I can't take it anymore. I need to get away. I need a break!"

She put her arms around him, and he didn't struggle.

"I know. It's awful," she said.

"This world is nothing but cruel," he said. He felt Florence's cheek against his. It was wonderful.

"When I graduate, I will move to somewhere far, far, away," he said after a while. "To somewhere where I will never have to see this school nor any of its pupils again."

He felt her nodding.

"Florence," he said, "Why do you like me?"

She let go of her embrace, and looked at him. She thought for a while before she answered.

"I guess because you remind me of myself."

An icicle fell down in his stomach.

"What do you mean?"

"I remember what it was like. It's like being hunted prey, except there is no escape, the hunting season in on all year round. When I saw them hanging you upside down last year …"

"When they took my pants off in front of the whole school, you mean," he said through gritted teeth. He was trembling even more now.

"I felt so sorry for you! But I didn't know what to do! And when they shut you in the cupboard …"

"You felt sorry for me! Is that why you bother speaking to me? Because you pity me?"

He was on his feet now.

"No, I didn't mean …"

"Didn't that kiss mean anything to you? Did you only do it to comfort me? I'll tell you something! I don't need to be comforted! I can look after myself!"

"I'm sorry," she said, "It wasn't meant like that!"

Severus saw that she was crying, and it annoyed him.

"If you think I am some weak person who needs to be looked after, you are wrong," he said in an icy voice.

Florence was on her feet too, now. Without asking him, she tried to grab his arm.

"Severus, please …" she said.

"LAY OFF ME!"

"Severus, you misunderstand!"

"I UNDERSTAND PERFECTLY FINE! YOU THINK I AM A WEAK FOOL WHO GETS UPSET BY SOME STUPID, IMMATURE PRANKS! GO ON! CALL ME SNIVELLUS, IF THAT'S WHAT YOU MEAN!"

He started walking away with quick, long steps. He heard Florence running behind him.

"I think Snivellus is upset," a male voice suddenly said. Severus jumped. Out of nowhere came Sirius Black, and crowded around him like swarm of bees were Peter Pettigrew, James Potter and Bertha Jorkins.

"Bertha!" Florence exclaimed. "What are you doing here!"

"Boo hoo, little Snivellus is upset again!" Peter Pettigrew laughed.

"Aren't you going to cry, Snivellus?"

"What were you doing behind the greenhouses with Florence, Snivellus?"

"That is none of your business."

"I heard some interesting news from Bertha here," Sirius said. "She said you and Florence were canoodling!"

"Euch! Who would want to kiss that slimeball?" Peter said, while pretending to throw up.

"Kissy, kissy, kissy!" Bertha mocked.

This was the last straw for Severus. He was so angry that he didn't know what he was doing anymore. He just wanted them to shut up. To leave him alone.

Before he knew it, he had his wand out.

"SILENCIO!" he roared. A fountain of purple sparks shot out of it, and hit Bertha.

The effect was immediate. Her giggles stopped. Her voice was gone.

But it didn't stop there. A gasp went through the group: Bertha had no mouth anymore.

Everybody stood in a stunned silence for three or four seconds. Then, both Sirius and James jumped on him from behind. They both had their wands out. But the situation was so chaotic that fists were better than wands.

In amongst the wands, fists, nails and knees, Severus could hear Florence giving Bertha a row.

"You followed me! You were spying on us! You saw us kiss, and then you ran off to tell Sirius Black! I can't believe you're sacrificing our friendship to impress that idiot! You are not my friend anymore! You are a coward!"

Unable to answer back, Bertha ran away towards the castle with her tail between her legs.

Florence marched off in the opposite direction. Then she was suddenly in the middle of the fight, angry as a thunderstorm.

"GET AWAY FROM HERE! YOU ARE ALL PATHETIC CHILDREN! GET BACK TO YOUR DORMITORIES BEFORE I HEX YOU!"

James Potter, who liked to act the gentleman when there were girls around, stopped fighting. And on his signal, the three boys set off towards the castle, after Bertha.

"He will pay. Very soon," he heard Sirius mutter as they left.

Florence waited until they were out of sight. Then she said to Severus, "That's them sorted, then."

"Are you expecting me to thank you?" he said icily.

Florence looked dumbstruck by this abrupt unfriendliness.

"No!"

"Fine."

He walked back to the castle, leaving her alone in the darkness.

Severus rived open the door to his dormitory. He was seething. There was no one there apart from Alexander Avery, who was sitting on his bed, reading.

Severus grabbed him by his collar.

"GET OUT!"

He slammed the door behind him. Then he locked the door, to make sure that nobody else came in.

He picked up the Valentine's card he had written for Florence from under his bed and tore it in tiny little pieces.

Then he blew the candles out, and buried himself under his blanket.

Argh, why was he such a fool? Severus crushed the corner of his pillow in his fist, pretending it was Sirius Black, James Potter, Bertha Jorkins and everybody. He felt betrayed. He had let her in – he had let Florence in, and she had betrayed him. For a few, wonderful minutes, he had thought he had found something. Something that wasn't evil or cruel, but pure and kind. But he had been wrong. Of course he had been wrong. There was no such thing as love. The world was a jungle, where each man must look out for himself.

Severus stared up at the dark canopy. From now on, he would trust no-one.

There was a quiet knock on the door. Severus pulled the blanket over his head again, and ignored it. But after a few seconds, it knocked again, louder this time. Severus turned to face to wall.

"Severus?" came the small, but urgent voice of Regulus Black. "Severus, are you in there? It's important."

"What is it?" Severus grunted from under his blanket.

"I've got something to tell you. But I must speak to you in private."

With a great effort, Severus stood up from his bed, and went and unlocked the door. Outside, Regulus' face was looking up at him. His expression was exited and fearful at the same time.

Severus let the younger boy in, and went and sat down on his bed again.

"So what is it you have to tell me that is so important?" he said with no real interest.

"It's got to do with my brother. Remember you told me to let you know if I discovered that they were up to something?"

"Yes?" Severus suddenly became interested.

"I have discovered that Sirius is having a secret meeting with some of his friends, to discuss some top secret plan!"

"When?"

Severus stood up.

"Now!"

"_Now?_ Where?"

"In the trophy room."

"I've got to go."

He left the room, leaving Regulus behind.

When Severus reached the trophy room, he was slightly out of breath, after having run up a considerable number of staircases at top speed. He stopped briefly to catch his breath before he went up to the door.

He wondered for a second whether he would need the Teleaudium charm again. But then came Sirius' voice through the door, so loud and clear that no charm was needed.

"Yes, I think this is the best plan we have ever had!" he shouted. "Even if I do say so myself. Or what do you say, Peter?"

"Oh yes!" squealed Peter Pettigrew. "This plan is a masterpiece!"

"The teachers are never going to find out!" said Sirius.

"Never!"

"And stupid Snape will never know, either."

"That stupid pea brain never knows anything anyway!" Peter laughed shrilly.

"I bet he would love to find out about this one, though. He's always poking his overlarge nose into other people's business. Heh, I wonder how he managed to kiss that Ravenclaw girl? I thought his nose would be in the way!"

They both laughed loudly. Severus could feel himself boiling.

Then Sirius and Peter seemed to pull themselves together again.

"Tell me again, Peter," said Sirius, "what it is you have to do."

"That's easy," said Peter, still not bothering to keep his voice down. "All I have to do, is go up to the Whomping Willow and prod that big knot below the first branch with a stick. And that will freeze the tree!"

"That's correct! And then?"

"Then I lift up the root below, under which is the entrance to the secret tunnel!"

"Correct again! And when do you do this?"

"At precisely ten o'clock."

"Good! Ah, I can hardly wait." Severus pictured Sirius rubbing his hands together.

"Well, we'd better get back to the common room, to get the stuff ready!" he said after a little while.

Severus quickly stepped away from the door, and slid into the next classroom, where he waited until he heard Black and Pettigrew's footsteps go away. Then he ran back to the Slytherin dungeon, his heart hammering.

He spent the next couple of hours pacing back and forth. He was too excited to sit still. The Whomping Willow at ten o'clock! A secret tunnel! He was certain now that Black and his gang were up to something very illegal. Perhaps not just a breach of school rules, like sneaking out to look for an old smuggler's cave, but more probably a breach of the wizarding laws. What could it be? He had a feeling that there were clues that he had overlooked.

He tried to go back in his mind to the start of the year. James Potter had said something suspicious about the Shrieking Shack. Later, he had seen all sorts of animal footprints leading to and coming from the Shack. Which had made him suspect that they were experimenting with illegal animal spells. But when he had later tried to wait for them outside, he hadn't seen them at all. Though he had definitely felt that something was in the air. He shuddered by the thought of the spooky, black dog he had encountered in the forest.

Then there was this strange fact that things always seemed to happen on the full moon. In that respect, it was no surprise that Black had chosen today for his secret meeting. Perhaps their experiment required that it was carried out at this particular time of month? He knew of quite a few potions that needed to be brewed at some certain time of the moon cycle. Was it perhaps an illegal potion that they were making?

It was almost time now. He couldn't keep his hands still, but kept picking up and setting down various objects that were scattered around in the common room. Others were giving him quizzical looks, but he didn't care.

Finally, he went into his dormitory, and put on his black winter cloak. It was time to go.

The full moon was shining through the branches of the Whomping Willow like a big, white, all-seeing eye. There was no sign of Sirius Black or any of the others yet. So that must mean that they were either already in the secret tunnel that they had spoken about, or else they weren't here yet, and would arrive any second.

Severus' back was prickling. There was no sound, apart from the creaking of the willow's moving branches, like an old sailing ship in a soft breeze. Yet, Severus had the strangest sensation that he could feel his enemies' presence in the air.

Of course, he often had the feeling that he was being watched. But tonight it was particularly strong. The air felt charged with something, though he didn't know what.

A piece of a broken branch was lying on the ground near one of the tree roots. It gave him a small static shock as he picked it up. The knot on the stem was in plain view right in front of him.

"This is it!" he thought to himself. "Tonight it is _their_ turn."

With a last look around to check that nobody was there, he prodded the knot with the stick.

The tree froze momentarily. Now that it had stopped moving, he saw something that could have looked like a badger's den under one of its roots. The secret tunnel.

He lifted up the root to make the hole big enough, and crawled in.

It was pitch dark inside, but he dared not use his wand to light it up, lest Black and his gang should see him. He stopped and listened, but he couldn't hear anyone. Or was there a kind of yelping in the distance? No, he wasn't sure. It might have been from the forest outside.

Severus started to grope around to feel his way through the dark tunnel. It was scattered with slimy rocks, which he kept banging his knees into. Water from the roof was running down his neck. There was a funny smell too, wet earth mixed with something else.

The yelping he had heard, was coming nearer. Was it a dog? It sounded so human, and yet, no human could make that sound.

He was half walking, half crawling, along the tunnel. He didn't know how long it took, it felt like at least half an hour, but of course, it probably felt longer than it really was. It was dark, wet and dirty. At one point, he thought he heard, or felt, a rat brushing by his feet. Every now and then, he banged his head on the roof, or his foot into a rock. He wished he would see the exit soon.

And finally, he saw it. It looked like a trapdoor. Severus stretched his hand out and touched the roof of the tunnel, and found that it was wooden. He must be under some sort of house.

A loud noise suddenly made him jump: It was the strange yelping again. It was very near this time, right above his head.

Suddenly something clicked in his mind: He had been right all the time! They were really doing some sort of experiment on animals. This house must be the Shrieking Shack. The distance would fit. He had seen animal footprints there, and heard James Potter speaking about the place. The yelping must come from a dog or some other animal that they were holding captive there!

Severus was now getting excited in a strange sort of way, almost manic. All he would need to do, was to go through that trap door, and catch them! And that would be it! Potter and his gang would be expelled, and there would be no more … trouble.

He started climbing up the slippery ladder that stood against the wall below the trapdoor. One step. Two steps. Three steps. He stretched his arm up to try and reach it.

"No!"

Out of the darkness came James Potter. He must have been hiding at the end of the tunnel.

"Snape, no! Don't do it!"

Severus turned around so fast that he almost fell off the ladder.

"Too late, Potter," he hissed. "I know what you are up to. I know there is an animal up there. Yes, the headmaster would like to hear about this: James Potter, all the teachers' favourite, has been sneaking out of the school at night to perform illegal magic."

"Wait! It's not what you think!"

James had a strike of panic in his voice now. It gave Severus a triumphant, satisfied feeling.

"Are you afraid, Potter? Are you afraid that I might get you – ah – expelled?"

"It's not that, it's … Don't do it! Don't go there! Turn back! Go away! You don't know what you're doing!"

"I know perfectly well what I'm doing," Severus whispered.

He had set his mind now. He would go through that trapdoor, and the more James shouted to him that he should turn back, the more determined he got that he would go ahead. Four steps. Five steps.

Suddenly James grabbed his ankle. He was pulling him back with all his weight.

"Let go!" Severus barked, trying to kick himself free.

"No! You've got to get away from there! You're heading for your death!"

Severus was sweating, frantically trying to pull himself up the ladder, while James was still hanging onto his ankle. He was only inches away from the trapdoor.

He stretched his arm out again. Just one more inch!

Hanging onto the ladder by his arms, he kicked James Potter in the face with his other foot. That did the trick. James let go, and fell down on the ground.

Severus didn't look back, but climbed the last step, and pushed the trapdoor open.

For the first few seconds, he didn't realise what he was witnessing. Half hidden in the shadows of the dusty room, behind a smashed and upturned table, was the strangest creature he had ever seen.

It was Remus Lupin. But at the same time, it couldn't be. It was as if he was in one of his nightmares, where familiar things didn't look the way they ought to, where things kept changing and twisting, such as the one where his enemies had suddenly had wolves' heads.

But this was real. Five seconds ago, he had recognised this creature as being Remus Lupin, a member of his tormentors' gang. Now, its body was twisted to the unrecognisable, it was in a seizure, howling and yelping on the floor.

But then he saw its eyes. Yellow, shining like two full moons. And they were looking right at him.

The creature was no longer twisted in a cramp. It was transformed. It was fit. It was ready, like a tightened spring.

The last thing Severus saw, was its white, knife-like teeth, when it charged against him.

"Noooo!"

He fell.

The hard rocks crashed against his hands and knees. James Potter had pushed over the ladder.

Above him, the werewolf's jaws were snapping in the air through the open trapdoor.

He heard barking from the room above. The wolf went out of sight.

He was bleeding from his hands and lip.

"Go!" James cried. "Go! For Merlin's sake, run!"

Severus ran. Through the darkness, through the stones and tree roots, he ran as fast as his legs would bear him. He fell, got up, fell again, but kept running until his knees and hands were all bruised.

Remus Lupin – is a werewolf! Remus Lupin is a werewolf! This sentence kept pounding in Severus' head as he ran through the tunnel, out through the hole beneath the roots, across the frozen grounds, and into the castle.

He let the tall oak doors slam behind him. His head was pounding like a drum, he had to lean forward and support himself on his knees as the edges of his vision became blurred by a black veil. He sank forward, gasping for breath. As his knees hit the stone floor, he felt how sore they were. And his hands were covered in mud and blood. He was lying on his stomach. The floor was moving like on a ship. He closed his eyes, but all he could see was the werewolf's teeth as it charged towards him. He opened his eyes again and looked at the roof, but it was spinning. He wondered what to do, he couldn't stay where he was, he was out of bounds. Should he try to get to bed? Should he go for a teacher? Would the teachers even believe him?

Professor McGonagall, he thought. She would believe him. She was Head of Gryffindor, and would have the power to expel Lupin, Black, Potter and Pettigrew.

He tried to get up. His whole body was aching. The room was still spinning. He needed three tries before he managed to get up. After a few deep breaths, his head cleared a bit, and he set course for Professor McGonagall's office.

"Professor McGonagall! Professor McGonagall!" he called as he knocked on her door. What was taking her so long?

Finally, the door opened, and the professor appeared, looking confused, wearing a hair net and a dressing gown.

"By Merlin's beard, what has happened to you?"

"Remus … Lupin … is a … werewolf!" Severus panted.

A rush of fear went through the professor's eyes.

"Severus," she said very quickly, "come into my office."

He followed her inside, and was grateful to sit down on a chair which the professor offered him.

"Have you been bitten?" she said urgently.

"No, but …"

"Thank Merlin!"

"But he's a werewolf!"

"Yes."

"But … Did you know he's a werewolf?"

"Severus, I think we need to talk to the Headmaster about this. In the morning."

"Remus Lupin is a werewolf, and he is loose out there!"

"He is loose?"

"He is in the Shrieking Shack!"

"In the morning, Mr. Snape. You will come to the Headmaster's office before breakfast tomorrow morning. Is that clear?"

Severus understood that the conversation was over, and although he strongly disagreed, he knew there was no point protesting. He was very frustrated that Professor McGonagall didn't seem more shocked by his news.

"I will take you to your dormitory," she said firmly.

It took him several hours to get to sleep. Everything that had happened kept flashing before his eyes. The werewolf. The tunnel. The hard rocks. The greenhouses. The kiss. Black and Potter and Bertha Jorkins. The secret meeting – he understood now that it had been a set-up. How had he not seen it before? He had sworn to himself that he would trust no-one. He cursed under his breath. He must learn to be more vigilant. Trust no-one. Never let anyone in. From now on, he wouldn't.

Severus was still tired and very hungry when he knocked on the headmaster's door the next morning. It was a quarter to eight, and very few students were up yet.

"Please come in," he heard Professor Dumbledore's voice call.

James Potter, Sirius Black and Peter Pettigrew were already in there, lined up before the headmaster's desk. Remus Lupin was missing – perhaps he was a wolf still. Next to Professor Dumbledore stood Professor McGonagall and Professor Merriman, who was Head of Slytherin.

"Ah, welcome, Mr. Snape," said Dumbledore. "Now, I believe you have something you wanted to tell me?"

Severus didn't know what to say. Potter, Black and Pettigrew were all staring at him. So were McGonagall and Merriman.

"Eh – there is something you should know about Remus Lupin," he started off reluctantly. "He … He is a werewolf."

Nobody looked surprised.

"Yes," Dumbledore said, in the same annoying way that McGonagall had said it the night before.

"I'm saying, he's a _werewolf_!" Severus tried, with a stress on the last word.

"Most unfortunately, he is," said Dumbledore calmly. "I am aware of that."

"But he could have killed me!"

"Not as long as he is locked inside the house that was built for him. And this is where you come in, young gentlemen." He nodded towards James Potter, Sirius Black and Peter Pettigrew. "Why was Mr. Snape in the Shrieking Shack last night?"

"I think he must have heard me talking to Peter about the tunnel, and gone there to find out what it was," Sirius said, looking innocent. "Snape must have noticed that Lupin went away every month, and become curious to investigate."

Severus felt anger welling up inside him. This was not fair. Sirius knew as well as he did that the conversation had been staged.

"How long have you three known Mr. Lupin's secret?"

"A few years," Sirius admitted.

Dumbledore smiled.

"I should have known. One cannot keep a secret from you three, eh?"

The three boys looked at one another and grinned. Severus was getting more and more angry.

"Mr. Snape, could you please tell me what happened?"

Severus looked at the headmaster, trying to convey without words that he could not possibly tell the whole story in front of this audience. If he told the whole truth– It had been difficult enough when he had tried to tell McGonagall. With all these people in the room – including _those three_ – it would be impossible.

Please, Professor Dumbledore, he thought, desperately hoping that the headmaster would somehow be able to read his mind. Please.

"Luckily, he was not bitten," Professor McGonagall said.

"Only because James stopped him," Sirius said, giving James a sour look that Dumbledore couldn't see.

"Is this true, Mr. Potter?" Dumbledore said.

"Yes, Professor. I saw where he was heading, and pulled him back."

"That was a brave thing to do, Mr. Potter."

Severus had to hold back a roar of frustration. This was so unfair!

Professor Dumbledore looked at him again.

"Mr. Snape, I have still not heard you version of the story. Is it true that you heard Mr. Black speak to Mr. Pettigrew about the tunnel under the Whomping Willow?"

"Yes." He bit his lip.

"And is it true that you went there, after dark, alone, last night?"

"Yes."

Severus Snape did not cry. He had cried, once. Something which had earned him his nickname "Snivellus". He did not complain, either. He was not the one who would run off to tell a teacher if something happened. He preferred to deal with things alone.

"Why did you do this?"

"Because …" He had to stop. He knew his voice would break if he went on.

Dumbledore sighed.

"Well," he said. "You have all acted irresponsibly. But I suppose it is my own fault, for letting a werewolf come to school. I thought, or rather, hoped, that it would be safe. The house was secured. The tunnel was protected. Mr. Lupin would not be near any human being during his transformations. Or so was the plan. But one can never protect oneself against the curiosity of the young, I guess."

The old man looked at them all as if they were his naughty grandchildren.

"I took a risk when I let Remus Lupin come to school. But I felt that it was worth it. I could not bear to see a young life wasted, being kept at home, unable to develop his magical abilities. And now that he has gone to Hogwarts for over five years, I can really see how much it means to him to be allowed to come here. We cannot let that go. Which is why I must ask you, gentlemen, to keep this a complete secret."

He looked pleadingly at Severus.

"Can you promise me that?"

Severus felt like screaming. They were not expelled. They had not as much as said sorry. He had almost been killed, and yet, he was expected to keep it a secret that a werewolf was running about the school!

"Promise me," Dumbledore said again. He was almost looking sad now.

Severus nodded. For – who could he tell? There was nobody.

"Thank you very much. I hope you realise how much this means to me."

"Shall they not be punished for being out of bounds?" Professor Merriman asked.

"I think the knowledge of what happened is punishment enough," Professor Dumbledore said quietly. "Mr. Snape must forever live with the knowledge that he owes his life to Mr. Potter. Mr. Potter: You and Mr. Black and Mr. Pettigrew must live with the knowledge that because of you, a fellow student could have died. And moreover, you could have made your friend a murderer."

All three looked down.

"Odysseus," Dumbledore turned to Professor Merriman, "Could you please escort Mr. Snape to the hospital wing? It looks like he has got quite a few cuts and bruises."

"Of course," Professor Merriman replied politely. He laid his hand on Severus' shoulder and led him gently out.

**Epilogue**

The first little light green leaves had started to come out on the birch trees in the little grove between the two hills. The sun was warming his neck: Summer would be here soon. He would be free at last.

He passed between the two Beltane fires that had been built in the grass, with a circle of round, white stones around each of them. In front of him was the rock, majestic, like a throne in the middle of the waterfall.

He stepped onto it, and knelt before the one who was waiting there.

The Lord took his sword out.

"Do you, Black Panther, promise before your Lord and these witnesses, to work for the purification of the wizarding race, to seek to weed out traitors to our kind, and to serve Lord Voldemort, for as long as you shall live?"

Severus bowed his head. He could hear a bird singing. The water was clucking merrily at either side of their little island.

"I do."


End file.
